[ it's funny, because of course she wants to argue, because her mind goesn't go to the dirty examples first, so she'd love to point out some key examples of all the times he'd stall and stall and stall when she'd point out how there were important, or at least semi-important, things they should have been doing. usually school stuff. but that of course leads to "well what was she telling him he needs to stop doing so he could start doing the responsible thing?" and. well. it's not like they were just sitting around doing nothing. ... okay sometimes they did sit around and do nothing, but it was usually a very deliberate choice. very much in the vein of steve realizing she needed a break from working, for her own sanity, so he'd find a way to get her on the couch and just chill out. but that's totally not what came to mind just now, no.
soooo yeah, as much as she loves being right and making a point, she loves not making things awkward even more. so. ]
Alright, fair. One of the fastest, then. Top three, at least.
Oh, yeah. I supposed that is kind of your thing already, isn't it? Although I can't say I've ever thought of you as "bossy" before. More like... assertive, maybe? When you need to be? As in... when shit hits the fan, as it tends to do more often than not in Hawkins. It's probably why you were captain of the basketball team. And the baseball team. And the swim team. Co-captain. Same thing. It's just not really being "bossy" when people already want to listen to you. And Dustin might be a total pain in the ass about it sometimes, but he looks to you just as much as anybody else.
There might actually be room for two worriers, and two leaders, is my point.
( ... has Nancy been drinking with her mom again??? where does this stuff keep coming from? his list of sporty accomplishments don't mean much now, out of school, except for when he's insisting everyone should stay in the boat and let him swim for Watergate. and they all managed to reach it anyway so it wasn't that big a deal he went first anyway!! )
I can lead stuff I understand. Swimming and basketball and baseball. I don't get this Upside Down stuff. I don't know if I ever will. I still feel like I did that first time, sometimes. Panicking and wondering what the hell is going on. I can't lead with this like you can. You see things I don't see. You just get things faster. That stuff with Victor Creel, I never... that was decades ago! But you just. Knew. And you were right. Not like Dustin, either. With science, and compasses and magnetic fields, and ... and making the pieces fit together. It's crazy how smart that kid is.
I'm not like that, but I can try and keep people in one piece. And herd them from the active danger if possible. That I understand. I'm okay sticking to my strengths.
So I guess I should just check in with you if I think scaring one of Jason's goons straight is a good idea. Could have saved me a black eye. If you're really determined to be the leader and a worrier, there probably is room for two of us doing that.
[ there's a rebuttal right there, ready to go, just waiting to be typed. because- okay, maybe she tends to take the initiative when she knows she's onto something, sure, but there isn't anything inherent about it like it seems to be for him. there've been times when things went to hell, fast, and steve took action before the rest of them could even process it. and it's all too easy to trust in that, to look to him, in the moment. he steps up, leads the way. pretty literally, in most cases? soooo sure, she tends to be more inclined to do the research first, put the pieces together to try and find some kind of footing for a strategy, form a plan. she knows there's merit in that, she's not about to argue that point. that's probably why robin put her "in charge", right? but it's just-! leaders are more than just planners. it's something instinctual. intuitive. impulsive, almost, which- nancy can definitely be impulsive at times, but usually it's never in an effective way.
maybe what it boils down to is that some of her strengths are some of his weaknesses, and some of her weaknesses are some of his strengths. so when they're both at their best, it actually makes perfect sense that they make such a great team.
but at least she thinks about all of that for more than two seconds before typing it out and hitting send, this time. lately she's had a bad habit of, uh, vocalizing her analysis of all the ways steve harrington is different than the guy she dated a few years ago, because it really is blowing her mind in a lot of ways. but as it turns out! it's actually really weird to list off all those admirable differences she's noticed! she knows!! ]
I can promise you that every single person in our lives that's gotten caught in the middle of this insane mess with us... They're all panicking and wondering what the hell is going on, too. The fact that you're still here fighting alongside all of us means you might get it more than you think.
But yeah. Yes! You should always check in with me, absolutely. Or I could ask Holly to make you a bracelet that has WWNWD beaded into it. Just as a reminder, you know?
So I've consulted with Holly and she said she needs to know your top five favorite colors.
After gently informing her that some people might not have five different favorite colors, she begrudgingly admitted that she can work with three, but you would be "seriously limiting her creativity". So. No pressure.
Well, you certainly just made her day. I haven't seen that smile from her in a while. Not since her favorite park became a giant hole in the ground, and my mom won't let her play with her friends for more than thirty minutes or so after school. Honestly, none of the parents are taking any chances, which is good, but... It's still such a bummer for the kids. They don't really get it, you know? So at least this will give her something to do while she's stuck inside.
Not that you actually have to wear it, or anything! Obviously. She'll definitely want you to try it on when she finishes it, but after that... Maybe just keep it in your car, in the off-chance you'll be [ ... what? at her house? when she invites him over again? is it possibly going to really be that regular of a thing? ... is it totally fucked up that the thought of it not happening again makes her frown, before she catches herself? probably. shit. ] around when she's around. [ AROUND? brilliant. ] I just know it would mean a lot to her. [ just like him humoring this at all means a lot to her. as in herself, yes. ]
( it's not surprising that parents are keeping kids on tighter leashes, now. with everything going on it is probably for the best. it is just hard not to think it's pretty damn sad Holly can't run around at the park or with her pals because this Upside Down shit never stops and just gets worse, every year. obviously, if making a friendship bracelet made Holly brighten, Steve will wear the damn thing until it shreds to pieces. he likes Holly a lot. they made fast friends when she was a baby and he'd make funny faces for her waiting for Nancy.
now she's old enough to make faces back, which is even more fun. )
It sucks for them to be stuck inside, but we barely know what it means that Vecna almost opened the gate, right? Safer for her to be in. At least for now.
No, I'll wear it. Sounds pretty wicked. I can't make those things, the ones with all the knots? If she can do that without making a yarn ball on accident I'll definitely wear it.
Does it totally blow your mind that she's big enough to do complicated crafts now? I swear she's still little enough to hold above my head like an airplane, and then I see her and she's a full fledged tiny human, actually. Crazy.
It's surreal, to say the least. And for once I'm completely in agreement with my mom's overprotectiveness. I'd stay at home with Holly all the time if I could.
It really does. I mean, she's so smart, and so curious. And she's also COMPLETELY obsessed with math, which I never would have guessed. Oh, and reading bedtime stories, that's been the big thing this year. Filling out those addition and subtraction worksheets as fast as she can, and bedtime stories. She absolutely will not pick up a book just to pass the time on her own, but okay, so.
Around Christmas time she started doing this thing, about once or twice a week, whenever my parents tell her that it's time to get ready for bed - she starts insisting that it's my bedtime, too. Always very serious, trying to sound just like my mom, and tells me to brush my teeth and change into my jimjams, the whole thing, just so she can sit with me and read me a story. Meanwhile she's always about half asleep herself by then? So reading anything tends to be a challenge. But she gets so grumpy if I try to help, it's so cute. Because she can read it herself, and how dare I suggest otherwise.
[ this just in, nancy actually kinda loves it. all of it. being a big sister is- well, okay, it's a pain in the ass when it comes to dealing with mike. but holly really is a full fledged tiny human now, and it's impossible for her not to get caught up in it. ]
( this is an adorable snapshot of Nancy's relationship with her sister. back when they were dating, they agreed Mike was an asshole and Nancy would smile and nod when Steve pointed out how adorable Holly was. it wasn't really... a conversation, though. Mike was an asshole and Holly was adorable and that was that. they'd make out, or cram for a Chem final, or watch some movie Steve had insisted Nancy would like. they didn't talk about her siblings. they didn't talk about a lot of things, really.
it's nice. to get this puzzle piece of who Nancy is now. who Nancy is with her little sister. instincts to protect something small, still growing, that needs her and looks to her as they learn exactly how to be a human. it's just... it's just nice. that's all. )
Sounds like Holly is an unexpected ally in getting you to sleep every once and awhile. I should get her a bunch of new books to read to you, if it convinces you to do the whole jim-jams in bed at a reasonable hour thing.
[ later on nancy might realize how it might be coming off, talking so much about one of the sweeter parts about taking care of her 7 year-old sister like this... but at the moment? nope. not a single second thought. ]
We both know that even the greatest bedtime story won't make a 7:30pm bedtime possible, but it does sort of force me to wind down and relax earlier than I would have on my own, sure.
But you know, that whole plan carries the not-so-subtle implication that you have better sleeping habits than I do, which... No way. I'm sure I sleep just as much as you do. So if you're going to weaponize her bedtime stories, that means I'll have to retaliate by weaponizing speakerphone.
( it's coming off fine. right? it's totally chill to tell stories that highlight that you're really embracing your maternal instincts lately to the guy that dreamed of having a family with you one day! to be fair, Steve isn't reading much into it. besides thinking past Steve was really on top of thinking Nancy would be a great mom one day. )
That's half the battle sometimes, isn't it? If you're halfway there you might as well try and sleep. So look, if she gets half a dozen Dr. Seuss books, I don't know where she got them, all right? ( totally worth it, if it has become a calming routine for Nancy. he'd dedicate a paycheck to that. he realizes half the dark circles she'd been sporting the last time he saw her were from the hangover, not that she never sleeps, ever.
he's just guessing it isn't as easy for her as it used to be. that's all. )
I dunno, my problem isn't getting to sleep, it's staying asleep. You know? ( does she know? maybe she doesn't know. well... now she does! that seems like a fair friend thing to tell each other, huh? she's not gonna totally fixate on this like his sleep patterns are a problem she has to personally solve? better not. ) I don't know if Holly can help with that one.
[ she just! likes being a big sister. most of the time. and it's not like- okay yeah, it's pretty similar. the vibes are there.
but, anyway.
he asks "you know?" and yeah, she does. but luckily she stops herself from specifying that she hasn't been able to fall asleep, or stay asleep, very easily since she uhhhhh fell through a tree that lead to another dimension where she got chased down by a monster with a murder-flower face almost 3 years ago. or that the best sleep she's had in months was the night they were all piled into her basement, taking turns staying up with max. ]
I do, yeah. I definitely do.
[ .............but they both know that pretending things are fine with someone who knows perfectly well that they're not has never really worked out for her, so- ]
This time feels different, too. In the past I could kind of convince myself that it would get easier? That eventually I wouldn't see some kind of monster every time I shut my eyes. But "eventually" keeps getting interrupted by a new threat, and this time there's reminders of what happened literally all over town.
[ plus there's the tiny fact that robin, steve, and herself were the last people vecna saw before he was lit on fire and repeatedly shot in the chest, but that they didn't manage to kill him, so there's a solid chance they'll be the first people he comes looking for whenever he's back up on his feet. so. that hasn't really helped either, no. ]
( usually there's more of a bookend. Mindflayer is melted. the Demogorgon is dusted. the Russian base exploded. this time... well, this time it's not like that. the dust has settled, literally, but it doesn't feel like they have long to catch a breath. everyone knows that Vecna didn't die, not like he was supposed to. and while the shit with the gates didn't work the way it was supposed to, since Max isn't dead —
how long before Vecna recovers? before he tries again? will he start from square one, or do they have to keep their eyes peeled for a new victim in the midst of all the warning signs? someone they can hopefully protect, like they hadn't been able to protect Max?
no, it does feel different. and considering Vecna tortured people in their sleep, the fact neither of them are sleeping great isn't particularly surprising. )
Yeah. Yeah it is. At least I feel like I am doing something useful if I get up and do something. Run, or work out, or get gas so I'm ready to get Robin to school in the morning, or... get 3am pancakes at the 24-7 truck stop on the outside of town. Okay that last one isn't the most productive. They just make really good pancakes.
Yes, I go running, yes it is outside, yes I know Will disappeared a mile from my house. I run towards town, not towards the creepy woods. And I've never had reason to think some Upside Down creature is stalking me and besides, Vecna does the whole... hear a clock and bad dreams and waking nightmare thing, right? I listen to music, so, it's fine.
( is it though? it's as close to fine as he can reasonably get, when nothing is fine. so... good enough. )
Yeah. That one. Great pancakes. You should try it sometime. It's almost like they're even better at 3am. I don't know if that's true, but it feels like it is.
[ lort he is TESTING HER she promised not to lecture and then he goes and says all of that and maybe a few weeks ago that was all well and good and fine but the town is in literal pieces and he's-! it's! well, it's obviously fine, because he listens to MUSIC-!!!
she did need to put her phone down for a moment, yes. she had to actively avoid even looking at it until the urge to call him some very choice names fully passed. ]
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no subject
Date: 2022-07-28 03:14 am (UTC)soooo yeah, as much as she loves being right and making a point, she loves not making things awkward even more. so. ]
Alright, fair. One of the fastest, then. Top three, at least.
Oh, yeah. I supposed that is kind of your thing already, isn't it?
Although I can't say I've ever thought of you as "bossy" before. More like... assertive, maybe? When you need to be? As in... when shit hits the fan, as it tends to do more often than not in Hawkins.
It's probably why you were captain of the basketball team. And the baseball team. And the swim team. Co-captain. Same thing.
It's just not really being "bossy" when people already want to listen to you. And Dustin might be a total pain in the ass about it sometimes, but he looks to you just as much as anybody else.
There might actually be room for two worriers, and two leaders, is my point.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-28 03:37 am (UTC)I can lead stuff I understand. Swimming and basketball and baseball.
I don't get this Upside Down stuff. I don't know if I ever will. I still feel like I did that first time, sometimes. Panicking and wondering what the hell is going on.
I can't lead with this like you can. You see things I don't see. You just get things faster. That stuff with Victor Creel, I never... that was decades ago! But you just. Knew. And you were right.
Not like Dustin, either. With science, and compasses and magnetic fields, and ... and making the pieces fit together. It's crazy how smart that kid is.
I'm not like that, but I can try and keep people in one piece. And herd them from the active danger if possible.
That I understand. I'm okay sticking to my strengths.
So I guess I should just check in with you if I think scaring one of Jason's goons straight is a good idea. Could have saved me a black eye. If you're really determined to be the leader and a worrier, there probably is room for two of us doing that.
1/2
Date: 2022-07-28 05:00 am (UTC)maybe what it boils down to is that some of her strengths are some of his weaknesses, and some of her weaknesses are some of his strengths. so when they're both at their best, it actually makes perfect sense that they make such a great team.
but at least she thinks about all of that for more than two seconds before typing it out and hitting send, this time. lately she's had a bad habit of, uh, vocalizing her analysis of all the ways steve harrington is different than the guy she dated a few years ago, because it really is blowing her mind in a lot of ways. but as it turns out! it's actually really weird to list off all those admirable differences she's noticed! she knows!! ]
oops
Date: 2022-07-28 05:22 am (UTC)The fact that you're still here fighting alongside all of us means you might get it more than you think.
But yeah. Yes!
You should always check in with me, absolutely.
Or I could ask Holly to make you a bracelet that has WWNWD beaded into it. Just as a reminder, you know?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 03:12 am (UTC)Okay, you've convinced me. Tell Holly I really need it, all right? Without her I might forget before I run around punching sophomores.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 03:25 am (UTC)After gently informing her that some people might not have five different favorite colors, she begrudgingly admitted that she can work with three, but you would be "seriously limiting her creativity". So. No pressure.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 03:32 am (UTC)And she can have as many artistic liberties with accent colors as she wants. Seems like that should be her right, as the talent.
( AKA FUCK HIM UP WITH A RAINBOW, HOLLY )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 04:04 am (UTC)I just need to be sure that you to know what you're signing up for.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 04:12 am (UTC)Plus, neon colors are eye-catching. Better reminder to keep the guns holstered, all that.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 04:49 am (UTC)Not that you actually have to wear it, or anything! Obviously. She'll definitely want you to try it on when she finishes it, but after that... Maybe just keep it in your car, in the off-chance you'll be [ ... what? at her house? when she invites him over again? is it possibly going to really be that regular of a thing? ... is it totally fucked up that the thought of it not happening again makes her frown, before she catches herself? probably. shit. ] around when she's around. [ AROUND? brilliant. ] I just know it would mean a lot to her. [ just like him humoring this at all means a lot to her. as in herself, yes. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 04:59 am (UTC)now she's old enough to make faces back, which is even more fun. )
It sucks for them to be stuck inside, but we barely know what it means that Vecna almost opened the gate, right? Safer for her to be in. At least for now.
No, I'll wear it. Sounds pretty wicked. I can't make those things, the ones with all the knots? If she can do that without making a yarn ball on accident I'll definitely wear it.
Does it totally blow your mind that she's big enough to do complicated crafts now? I swear she's still little enough to hold above my head like an airplane, and then I see her and she's a full fledged tiny human, actually. Crazy.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 05:28 am (UTC)It really does. I mean, she's so smart, and so curious. And she's also COMPLETELY obsessed with math, which I never would have guessed. Oh, and reading bedtime stories, that's been the big thing this year. Filling out those addition and subtraction worksheets as fast as she can, and bedtime stories. She absolutely will not pick up a book just to pass the time on her own, but okay, so.
Around Christmas time she started doing this thing, about once or twice a week, whenever my parents tell her that it's time to get ready for bed - she starts insisting that it's my bedtime, too. Always very serious, trying to sound just like my mom, and tells me to brush my teeth and change into my jimjams, the whole thing, just so she can sit with me and read me a story. Meanwhile she's always about half asleep herself by then? So reading anything tends to be a challenge. But she gets so grumpy if I try to help, it's so cute. Because she can read it herself, and how dare I suggest otherwise.
[ this just in, nancy actually kinda loves it. all of it. being a big sister is- well, okay, it's a pain in the ass when it comes to dealing with mike. but holly really is a full fledged tiny human now, and it's impossible for her not to get caught up in it. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-31 03:05 am (UTC)it's nice. to get this puzzle piece of who Nancy is now. who Nancy is with her little sister. instincts to protect something small, still growing, that needs her and looks to her as they learn exactly how to be a human. it's just... it's just nice. that's all. )
Sounds like Holly is an unexpected ally in getting you to sleep every once and awhile. I should get her a bunch of new books to read to you, if it convinces you to do the whole jim-jams in bed at a reasonable hour thing.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-31 04:08 am (UTC)We both know that even the greatest bedtime story won't make a 7:30pm bedtime possible, but it does sort of force me to wind down and relax earlier than I would have on my own, sure.
But you know, that whole plan carries the not-so-subtle implication that you have better sleeping habits than I do, which... No way. I'm sure I sleep just as much as you do. So if you're going to weaponize her bedtime stories, that means I'll have to retaliate by weaponizing speakerphone.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-31 11:07 pm (UTC)That's half the battle sometimes, isn't it? If you're halfway there you might as well try and sleep. So look, if she gets half a dozen Dr. Seuss books, I don't know where she got them, all right? ( totally worth it, if it has become a calming routine for Nancy. he'd dedicate a paycheck to that. he realizes half the dark circles she'd been sporting the last time he saw her were from the hangover, not that she never sleeps, ever.
he's just guessing it isn't as easy for her as it used to be. that's all. )
I dunno, my problem isn't getting to sleep, it's staying asleep. You know? ( does she know? maybe she doesn't know. well... now she does! that seems like a fair friend thing to tell each other, huh? she's not gonna totally fixate on this like his sleep patterns are a problem she has to personally solve? better not. ) I don't know if Holly can help with that one.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 01:06 am (UTC)but, anyway.
he asks "you know?" and yeah, she does. but luckily she stops herself from specifying that she hasn't been able to fall asleep, or stay asleep, very easily since she uhhhhh fell through a tree that lead to another dimension where she got chased down by a monster with a murder-flower face almost 3 years ago. or that the best sleep she's had in months was the night they were all piled into her basement, taking turns staying up with max. ]
I do, yeah. I definitely do.
[ .............but they both know that pretending things are fine with someone who knows perfectly well that they're not has never really worked out for her, so- ]
This time feels different, too. In the past I could kind of convince myself that it would get easier? That eventually I wouldn't see some kind of monster every time I shut my eyes. But "eventually" keeps getting interrupted by a new threat, and this time there's reminders of what happened literally all over town.
[ plus there's the tiny fact that robin, steve, and herself were the last people vecna saw before he was lit on fire and repeatedly shot in the chest, but that they didn't manage to kill him, so there's a solid chance they'll be the first people he comes looking for whenever he's back up on his feet. so. that hasn't really helped either, no. ]
Not sleeping is easier, sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 02:46 am (UTC)( usually there's more of a bookend. Mindflayer is melted. the Demogorgon is dusted. the Russian base exploded. this time... well, this time it's not like that. the dust has settled, literally, but it doesn't feel like they have long to catch a breath. everyone knows that Vecna didn't die, not like he was supposed to. and while the shit with the gates didn't work the way it was supposed to, since Max isn't dead —
how long before Vecna recovers? before he tries again? will he start from square one, or do they have to keep their eyes peeled for a new victim in the midst of all the warning signs? someone they can hopefully protect, like they hadn't been able to protect Max?
no, it does feel different. and considering Vecna tortured people in their sleep, the fact neither of them are sleeping great isn't particularly surprising. )
Yeah. Yeah it is. At least I feel like I am doing something useful if I get up and do something. Run, or work out, or get gas so I'm ready to get Robin to school in the morning, or... get 3am pancakes at the 24-7 truck stop on the outside of town.
Okay that last one isn't the most productive. They just make really good pancakes.
1/3 i think
Date: 2022-08-01 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 03:19 am (UTC)But how do you know
Nope, never mind, no lecturing. Promise.
ye done
Date: 2022-08-01 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 03:40 am (UTC)( is it though? it's as close to fine as he can reasonably get, when nothing is fine. so... good enough. )
Yeah. That one. Great pancakes. You should try it sometime. It's almost like they're even better at 3am.
I don't know if that's true, but it feels like it is.
( they're more comforting, somehow. )
1/2 lmao sorry 4 ur inbox
Date: 2022-08-01 03:51 am (UTC)she did need to put her phone down for a moment, yes. she had to actively avoid even looking at it until the urge to call him some very choice names fully passed. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 04:03 am (UTC)( NANCY 1AM PANCAKES AND THEN SLEEP RIGHT??? ?!!!?!?!? )
no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 04:14 am (UTC)[ which means the answer to that question is no but that's fine because it's only sometimes. and never on a school night! so. y'know. it's fine. ]
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