( is it a mountain out of nothing? probably! what the hell kind of idiot freaks out because their girlfriend wants clarification on whether he loves her or not? that's a normal goddamn thing to ask! it's just. it's... just. so the last time he told a girl he loved her, she said it back. and that was great!
until an ill-fated Halloween party, and everything fell apart. and sometimes he tries to turn it over in his head, whether he just didn't understand, didn't get it, whether Nancy was too drunk to really mean anything she said. except she couldn't manage to say she loved him after she was sober, either. and then she ran off to god knows where with Jonathan. and then that was that, and the writing was on the wall. it's okay, Nance.
and then she and Jonathan were a thing, and that was just. it.
Steve knows he could just explain it, only. he doesn't want to explain it. honesty is the best policy, sure, but, how Nancy realized he was a shitty boyfriend and that she didn't love him anymore is not exactly Steve's favorite conversation topic. especially with a new girlfriend, who he's desperately trying not to fuck things up with. no, if he can avoid talking about it for now, he's definitely going to. )
No. No! ( dear god, if he can convince her of ANYTHING, it should be that she can say ILU any goddang way she wants. it truly does not matter, it's like catnip to him any possible way. ) No, it's okay. You can tell me however you want. I love you like this is good.
Not that you can't say it in person. I really want to see you, by the way. Can I see you right now?
( because while text ILUs are great, love it! awesome! also... what about in person ILUs? those are also just... great. they should try that. sometime. )
Oh god, yes please. I'd really like to see you right now.
[She had felt a little silly wanting to ask to see him, and is glad that he's the one that initiates an in person conversation. So often it feels like she's clingy and smothering him, but then he surprises her by showing her that the things she feels and wants are normal. Or are normal for him, at least.]
I'm on my way over now. Are you at your place?
[It's likely he is, and she can just hurry her way over to that part of town on foot. Or he could be at his parent's place, which is just the neighborhood over from hers. That's less likely.
Or if he's not in too bad of shape he can just come pick her up off the street, and they can pull over somewhere quiet. A lot of their important firsts have happened in that car. This can be another one.]
Yeah. Yeah, I am. With an ice pack on my face. ( and while Steve might have a black eye, literally nothing is going to stop him from kissing his girl after they both say I love you, out loud.
because the more he thinks about the fact Chrissy loves him, the less he can remember why he was so worried about saying it. hell, even if things go crazy south and some day she doesn't mean it like she does now... she does mean it now. maybe that's enough. )
But I can come get you. If you want? You're at home, aren't you? Is your mom even gonna let you come out tonight? ( not that it's a deterrent, even slightly. Steve would just crawl in her window if she can't come to him. )
I'm still supposed to be grounded. So I was going to sneak out my window. But you could sneak in just as easily. If you wanted to?
[Can he even manage to climb up and in? She isn't sure. But she's willing to leap out her window and right into the tree outside to climb down if it means getting to see him. He's said that he loves her, she's said that she loves him. And they really need to kiss and hold each other, and just spend time together.
Besides, her mom grounding her is essentially her last hurrah of exerting power over her. Chrissy's been dealing with it, but she's ready to ditch the punishment and just be with the guy she loves.]
But you probably can't climb up with an ice pack. I don't want you to get hurt worse, just so you can see me.
( climbing in windows is sort of his specialty, Chrissy. he's like a ninja. and yes his face is a bit more sore today than usual, granted, but he could probably find the strength to scale a mountain right now if he got to see her after he made it to the top. )
I want to. I can make it, trust me. I'll come to you.
( maybe they won't be able to get away with much, in her bedroom. turns out that is totally fine, as long as they can whisper three little words back and forth until somebody gets tired of hearing them. )
[She's just going to run and pile up her notebooks where she's written their initials in hearts on her desk so hopefully he won't see them. And she's going to run downstairs to say goodnight to her parents, saying she's exhausted after cheer practice running late. She knows they won't come check on her after that.
And then she's hauling ass back upstairs, so glad that her room is so far away from both the living room and her parents' room. Her window is unlocked and left open, and as she goes back to her bed she's sure to shove her few remaining stuffed animals onto the floor so he hopefully won't see those either.]
There's a trellis right under my window. Or you can take the tree. I left the window open for you, okay? Be careful!
[Because she knows he might be recklessly headed her way just so he can see her. It's incredibly sweet and romantic, and she thinks it makes her love him a little more.]
( he is, in fact, recklessly headed in her direction. it takes him a little longer, because yes he probably does still need ice for his stupid eye. and climbing with it won't be easy, Chrissy had a point there. so, backpack. and maybe he stashes aspirin in there, too. what more could he need? all the first aid Steve is willing to put up with. and maybe it takes him a little longer since his head hurts, thanks just SO MUCH for that, Jason!
having to park a few blocks away slows him down, too. will his ice even be ice by the time he makes it through her window? frankly if he remembers he brought ice by the time he makes it through her window, it'll truly be astounding. it's kind of deja vu, to sneak around a dark house to find the right window. the trellis is too rickety for him, he's definitely not as light as he was when he clambered up the Wheeler garage. Chrissy might be able to climb down it, he thinks, if there's ever a reason she needs to sneak out. which is. not at all anything she'd ever have to do, ever! since she's such a good girl. but you know. just for future reference, he wouldn't have to worry about her, if she did. so that's good to know!
Steve takes the tree. it is awkward. but he manages. the first announcement of his presence is his backpack (and his likely half melted ice) clearing the open window before he does. the rest of him does follow shortly after, trying to be as quiet as possible when clambering through a window is frankly not a quiet process, even for someone smaller than he is. ) It looks worse than it is, ( Steve insists in a whisper, still only half in Chrissy's window but already prepared to talk her down from the dark purple of his face anyway. look, he really does just bruise too easily! )
[She's expecting him to show up, but still is surprised by the sound of his backpack crashing onto the floor of her room. Jumping in alarm, she scoots back toward the headboard of her bed, legs curling up close to her chest. The nail polish bottle she's painted her toenails with tips over in the process and she gasps, scrambling to grab it and set it aside on her nightstand.
Steve enters the room a few seconds later, and something that doesn't surprise her is how he tries to reassure her right away. It makes sense that he does, because it looks terrible. He doesn't want her to worry about him, so she remains rooted in place in her bed, even as she worries at her lower lip with an anxious nibble.]
Jason did this to you?
[The implication of her question is if Jason did this alone. Or if he had come with friends and they had all ganged up on Steve. Chrissy quickly ditches the idea of not worrying over him, and crawls forward to the edge of her bed. She's on her knees and reaches out to grab his hand and pull him in close. Where of course, she has to take her time really looking him over, fingertips gently trailing along the bruises and swelling that make her heart break.]
Sure looked like him, yeah. ( not a time for stupid jokes, Steven!! he can't help it, that worried, sad, guilty look on Chrissy's face is sure hitting him sideways. Steve cannot help his desire to want to lighten the mood, prove that he's fine, shake off the shadows and try to push toward something normal and not miserable. look around her room and tease her about her posters, make a point of seeing if they both fit in her bed. instead he brings the ghost of Jason along whether he wants to or not, and or not is definitely how Steve feels about it. if he could have left the guy clutching his junk, rolling around on the parking lot asphalt forever, that would in fact be his preference.
Steve does not stop Chrissy from dragging him closer, wincing slightly at the touch even though he doesn't actually want her to stop. well, maybe he does, if only because fixating on his face is not actually what he came here for, actually. ) Hey, hey, ( Steve says, trying to draw her attention away from the bruises, catching wandering fingers in a hand with still slightly bloodied knuckles so he can kiss her palm. thanks, that's very nice! that she cares. about his dumb face. they can come back to that later. or never! because his face just is never going to be as compelling to him as the other thing they'd been talking about. )
You know, that thing... That thing you said, the thing you wanted to say out loud? ( Steve is being playfully stupid, on purpose, hoping that he can drag Chrissy out of being worried and back into the moment they accidentally had over text message. his spare hand curves behind her neck, leaning a little closer because even on her knees on the top of her bed, he's still got height advantage standing and it makes it easy to look at her. the strawberry gold of her hair, the bright blue of her eyes. even brighter right now, scrubbed down and soft for bed. god, she's so fucking beautiful, and she loves him? how'd he get to be so damn lucky? ) You could say it now, maybe, ( Steve continues, feeling the stupid smile on his face, because thanks Jason!! smiling hurts, right now!! ) I'm listening.
[She's just teasing, of course. Those three words are fresh in her mind, and she knows exactly what he wants her to say. His playing stupid makes her smile and laugh though, and she kisses at a bruise on his cheek before pressing another playful one to the tip of his nose.]
That's right! I remember now.
[Hands go to his shoulders, and she moves to lie back on her bed, pulling him down over her. With a smile that's nothing short of radiant, she kisses him for real. It's tender and completely heartfelt, not seeking anything more than sharing how she feels for him right now.]
I love you.
[her lips are against his, their breaths shared as she speaks.]
I love you.
[They're whispered that time, as she kisses at his chin. Her hand presses against his cheek but slips away quickly, not wanting to hurt him. Instead, her fingertips touch at his jawline, and her smile shifts into something entirely smitten.]
I love you.
[God, she's so lucky to have him. They're both lucky really, the way they had come together turning into something this good. There's times where she doesn't feel like she deserves it, with as imperfect as she is, but she knows that he feels the same way about himself. And maybe that's the beautiful thing about their relationship. They're able to build one another up so effortlessly.]
( oh, who knows, Chrissy! whatever could he be implying there? Steve huffs, because wow, they can't both play dumb at once, that's totally his thing. but then she presses kisses at the shine of purple on his face, and Steve stalls out a little. he really would like to forget about his face, honest. it's just... well, he's been knocked around and punched out and messed up plenty and reactions tend to vary. Tommy bought him aspirin and a coke and charged him for the pleasure. the kids had put rainbow bandaids on his split lip and cheek like that was gonna help at all with the concussion. everyone had commented on how terrible he looked after getting interrogated by the Russians, which was, just so helpful. thanks everyone.
he's never... well, he's never had anyone kiss the ugly stain of a bruise on his face. it makes his stomach do this weird silly flutter, like he's a goddamn kid falling in love with a girl the first time he saw her in 2nd grade. he's too old for it, surely, all these bubbly funny feelings.
but apparently not, because then she says it, I love you, and it's like Chrissy just ramped all those bubbly funny feelings up to 100. Steve mumbles a delighted little sound, kissing her back as much as he can around the grin on his face, crawling in bed after her so he doesn't have to stop kissing her, even as I love you, I love you, I love you, the world's most perfect mantra, is murmured against his mouth. maybe later, he'll get in his head. wonder how long it'll last. for now, frankly, he's too giddy to hear it he doesn't have it in him to spiral.
Steve has missed being allowed to love someone. having someone that loves him back. of course he was gonna fall for Chrissy, sometimes Steve thinks he might have started before he could even really call her his. her strength, her kindness, her resilience, her smile — how was he ever supposed to not fall straight over, head over niked feet? Steve falls fast and hard, there was just really no way to avoid it. but Chrissy loving him back is the wrinkle he couldn't have anticipated, and what kind of idiot would he be if he tried to poke holes in something he wants so damn much? )
I love you, ( Steve mutters back, hand slipping up the angle of her throat and to the line of her jaw and pausing just to look at her. all the perfect parts of her, even though Chrissy doesn't see it the way he does. the sparkle of her eyes, the freckles that seem to multiply any time she's out in the sun. the sweet little smile with the hint of the world's cutest canines, the way she looks at him like something worth having, worth wanting. Steve smiles again, and he's got a catchup game to play, so, ) I love you, I love you, mmm, ( a lazy drop of his head to bring their mouths back together, and the last promise he doesn't even bother to pull away from her mouth. ) Love you.
[If there's one thing Chrissy knows about herself, it's that she's desperate to be loved. She was a hungry child growing up, wanting both more food and more love from her mother. She grew into the hunger, but the desire for love has always been there. And she thought maybe she'd find it with Jason. But he never loved her. He only wanted to own her, to treat her like an object he could show off to the school.
She hadn't been expecting to have love surprise her in a relationship that had started out as an attempt to escape being put in a trophy case alongside Jason Carver's entire basketball and football record. Steve has constantly surprised her, has continually made her a better person. And when he tells her that he loves her now, she knows without any doubt that he means it. He's turned her into someone that's loved, embraces who she is without needing her to be someone else. It's the best feeling in the entire world, and she gets a thrill out of the way her heart races and skips beats.
Making a soft sound against his lips as he kisses her, she genuinely can't stop smiling. It's ridiculous, how someone's love can wrap around her and make her feel like she's flying. That boundless energy she's feeling now is turned to her focus on him, as her leg hikes upward and curls firmly against him.
With as athletic as she is, she can be strong in some situations. Given that she really wants to feel more of him, she finds herself able to move into a roll and flip them with him helping guide them once he feels her trying to shift their positions.
She's smiling down at him as she moves to straddle him, hands trailing slowly along his sides until she can press his hands against the mattress. Resuming her gentle kisses from earlier, she kisses along the bruises to his face, before she starts working a path down along his neck. Yeah, she thinks she'll leave a couple of marks for him to find later. He'll smile about them, she's sure.]
I love you so much it feels like I can't breathe sometimes.
[It's a whispered admission, her breath warm against the curve of his neck.]
And hearing you say it back, it feels like I'm drowning in you. That's weird, right?
( Steve has really made a point of working out, since Scoops Ahoy. he went into that Russian Beatdown entirely ill prepared. and, to be fair, having better upper arm strength probably wouldn't have helped that much, when they had guns, and tied him up. the point is, he's been working out lately, he's definitely, definitely stronger than Chrissy. definitely!
it's just that he doesn't have any problem with her rolling him onto his back. he feels the hint the movement of her thigh, and obligingly follows her lead. even if he feels a little too Seen, with his bright purple bruised eye, doing an unfortunate number on his charming good looks. he definitely did forget he packed an ice back in his bag, already, it hasn't even been two minutes.
how is he supposed to think about a bag of ice when Chrissy is pinning his hands to her fluffy bedspread, presses her lips to the sore run of bruises on his face? he just can't. doesn't begin to want to spare the brainpower. there's much better things to focus on, in this moment. )
Drowning? Can't breathe? This is a lifeguard's worst nightmare. ( to be fair, despite getting his certification like clockwork every year, Steve hasn't wanted to actually work as a lifeguard. too much pressure, lives in his hands. he already knows what that feels like. ) Is this where I ask if you need mouth to mouth? ( he's being, just so stupid right now. even Steve is aware. it's just hard not to be a little giddy. punch drunk on Chrissy's kisses and the warmth in her eyes, just for him. he feels like he has to add, ) It's not weird. It's ... it's a good kind of overwhelming. That we can say it, now. I don't think I'm ever gonna be tired of saying that. I love you. Nope, still not there.
( the only problem with this position is Steve can't reach Chrissy's mouth as easily, so he tilts to kiss at the wrist that his hand pinned to the mattress instead. kiss, and then nip. why not? he should 100% be more concerned with the fact her parents are just downstairs, but they're as forgotten as the ice in his backpack. )
[Oh, he really is ridiculous right now, isn't he? The comment about mouth to mouth makes her laugh, a giddy and silly sound that cuts off the second his lips find her wrist. Who knew that a simple kiss and the feel of his teeth against her there would make her so sensitive? Her laugh dies off into a sound that's far more like an appreciative gasp, and any thought about being quiet flies right out the window.
As far as she's concerned, they're the only two here. They're the only two that matter in the entire world, and they're wrapped up in one another and the blanket of love that they've pulled over themselves. It's an absolutely perfect moment, and as her heart races she starts to wonder if it's actually possible to feel something so strongly and so completely that you cry.
It must be, because her eyes fill with tears, and she tries to blink them away before he can see. Her gaze is still just as warm as her smile, cheeks flushed. Her plan fails, because of course it does, and a few tears fall from her eyes and land on him.]
God, I just —
[There's no thought of being embarrassed. No attempt to shy away. Steve has seen her at her worst, and her best. And she likes to think that happy tears because they can't stop declaring their love is one of the best damn things to ever happen to her. They're both at their best right now, vulnerable and open and so caught up in one another that nothing else really matters.
Not even the bruises on his face.
Her mouth works another mark against his neck as she tries to think of the right word to finish her thought. He's definitely going to be littered with bruises tomorrow, but hers are the only ones that matter.]
I love you enough to pretend I definitely need mouth to mouth from my favorite lifeguard.
[Because if they're going with the whole lifeguard motif, why not? He's silly, she's silly. It's amazingly freeing to know she can be as big of a dork as she wants with him and he won't mind.]
( it's easy to lean into being a complete and utter idiot when it makes Chrissy laugh. and it's easy to make jokes and be a little ridiculous when just being around Chrissy makes him feel closer to human again. Steve does his damnedest to not be weighed down by the things he's seen, things he's done. things he's gone through. it's hard not to be, though, especially in the quiet. on his own. when he pulled back from his entire life in senior year, it'd been almost deafening — impossible to ignore and escape it all.
it's better now. he's not as isolated, with his troop of children to look after. Robin, who is truly the best friend a guy could ever ask for, even if she makes fun of his hair and complains about his systems to organize their rental returns. and now Chrissy is part of that orbit, that tight circle of people around him that actually matter and genuinely care. friends he can lean on, be himself around. it's not that the Upside Down is forgotten, it just feels a little less oppressive. when he has other things in his life that are brighter.
Chrissy is pinned in close, and yet somehow Steve can see the shine dancing across her cheekbones anyway. possibly he's too obsessed with looking at her face, at this point. and really he didn't need confirmation that she'd tolerate some mouth to mouth, that's enough on its own to roll their bodies to have Chrissy on her back, instead. it's not her mouth he kisses, instead the apples of her cheeks, the overwhelmed stain of tears. as long as they're happy, Steve can live with them. )
Really... really quiet, mouth to mouth, ( Steve agrees, a little husky-hopeful, leaning in to kiss her again. it's an objectively bad decision to try for anything more than some breathless kisses, and maybe at some point he'll catch some common sense. and he won't try to make love to his girl with her parents just downstairs. but, just a kiss, that's cool, right? how can they share those three beautiful little words and not touch each other after? is it even possible? the slight twinge across his cheekbone is not enough deterrent to stop him from kissing her, and it really is like they're sharing oxygen. maybe not fair to imply he's responsible, no, kissing Chrissy feels a bit like learning to breathe all over again, like maybe he just. hasn't been, not really, like his lungs only remembered how to really take air in when it's her that he's breathing in. )
[It's definitely a bad choice to try for anything more than just kissing. But then again, it's a terrible choice to have her boyfriend sneaking up into her room to fool around with her in the first place. But this is more than just messing around. It's not every day you tell someone you love them for the first time. Especially not someone like Steve, who's so good to her that she can't believe she's as lucky as she is. ]
Very quiet mouth to mouth.
[She breathlessly laughs in between kisses, their breaths mingling as she keeps him held in close with a hand in the back of his hair. It almost feels like too much, having him over her like this, knowing that he loves her in return. There's no way she can get enough of him, absolutely no amount of breathing him in and tasting him as his tongue delves into her mouth will ever be enough. Chrissy is hopelessly addicted to her boy.
And maybe just a little bit hopelessly devoted, too.
Because she sure wouldn't have been this risky with Jason. She never would've smiled like this, never would've given herself so wholly and freely to him. But with Steve, it's easy. It feels natural, like he's become an easy extension of herself. They're not just Chrissy and Steve, they're ChrissyandSteve. Steve and the girl he loves. Chrissy and the man she's going to try and not undress while he's in her room on a school night and her parents are downstairs watching tv.
They both have gone through so much. And she knows that they'll likely face more of the upside down together. How could they not, in a place like Hawkins? But at least they have each other now. And that makes her feel invincible. So maybe that's why her mouth works a trail down along his neck, nipping and sucking to leave marks behind. She can blame that rush of endorphins on why her hands work at the button on his jeans. Really, she hadn't planned on doing more than just kissing. But when you get wrapped up in someone and caught in the moment, hands tend wander and have a mind of their own.]
( honestly, if Steve could have just been slightly less of a hero about this and let his girl brave the tree outside her window, and then they could have had this moment with no risk and all reward. she got down from the last tree she was up just fine! safe to say he hadn't been thinking it through. mostly the thought was getting to her as soon as possible. hearing her say it, instead of feverishly reading the same words over in a loop in a wild thrill.
so his intention had been just to kiss the living daylights out of Chrissy Cunningham, honestly. his face is still sore but there's no such thing as too sore to kiss the girl he loves. it's been so long since he could say that. and that Chrissy loves him back only makes it feel even more overwhelming. trying to stay quiet with an ugly stain of purple over his eye is not exactly how Steve intended this confession to go. it's fundamentally far from perfect.
more and more, though, he realizes he doesn't care if it isn't perfect. so what? perfect is painted on, mostly to impress people that won't be satisfied, anyway. Steve doesn't want perfect with Chrissy, he'd rather sloppy and unexpected and messy and spontaneous. love isn't about perfect. Steve doesn't want perfect. he just wants Chrissy.
her fingers are tight in his hair, her body is warm under his. he can feel the thrum of her heartbeat underneath him, every delighted ragged breath she makes. it's dizzying (maybe that's the head injury? no definitely Chrissy). her reaching between them, trying to work open his jeans, doesn't really register as it should. mostly because getting into it and stripping each other is ... pretty normal, if they're in bed together. it's just that it's his bed, usually. or her parents are away for the weekend. not just downstairs! )
Chrissy, ( Steve mumbles, against the sweet pink of her mouth. he doesn't even know what he's asking. is she sure? what is she up to? don't stop? somehow, all of it, at once. )
[Sirens are going off in the back of her head. They're telling her that this is a bad idea, that they should stop. Chrissy chooses to ignore them in favor of indulging in something she wants. But she takes his saying her name as a request for her to take pause, which she does with baited breath and a near pout as she leans back a little.]
Do you want to stop?
[She may be incredibly horny right now, but she's not going to push him into fooling around in her bed if he's not comfortable with it. Then again, she may pout until he gives in and takes off his jeans so she won't have to do it. It's really up in the air how it's going to go.]
Because we can. It's okay.
[Her body, meanwhile, screams that it's not okay. She'll be incredibly frustrated and pressed if it's not okay and she's pressing for too much. Maybe he'll feel the need to run off and leave her here hot and bothered and all alone. It probably would serve her right. She can't help herself though. She always wants him, and she knows they're both riding high on declarations of love.]
I mean —
[She pauses, stealing a couple of kisses. Just little pecks, one that smack loudly in the quiet of her bedroom.]
( does he want to stop? no. assuredly, absolutely, not at all, does he want to stop. frankly he's not even thinking that much about the fact her parents are downstairs. Chrissy's mother already can't stand him, sneaking into her bedroom can't possibly make things worse. it is hard to be particularly reasonable, when there's a girl wound around him that easily whispered she loved him — and yes it is partially teenage dramatics, but he wasn't sure he'd ever get something like this again. to love someone, to have them love back, the ridiculous warm and fuzzy tingle that makes his hair stand up just when she smiles at him — and here it is. how is he supposed to stop and slow down and be reasonable in the heat of that kind of moment?
still, he's gotta try. not really to respect Chrissy's parents — Steve has happily made out with Chrissy Cunningham in her own bedroom before, and he'd do it again, damnit. it's more... look. if they're going to make love (whatever, if that makes him cheesy, then he's a huge goddamn cheeseball) he doesn't want it to be somewhere they have to force themselves to be quiet, or repress what they're feeling. )
I want to keep going, ( Steve promises, chasing her kisses, a palm locking at the nape of her neck, lost in the hint of a smile as it tilts up the corners of her mouth. historically, Steve has never had a time where he wants to stop kissing Chrissy, he is sure as shit not going to start now. he almost forgets the rest in the taste of her lips and the easy way she slips her body against his. he even makes a face, when he pulls back enough to look her in the eye. )
Just... what if we get out of here first? ( instead of trying to sneak in a few kisses and touches, they can go somewhere where they can have all the kisses and touches they want. that'd be better, wouldn't it? chances are good Chrissy will just get in more trouble, if her mom realizes they snuck her out. it's just, maybe, this sort of moment would be worth it. getting away might not be convincing enough on its own, though, so Steve nuzzles closer, even if it makes the run of purple on his face tinge a little. whatever. worth it. )
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no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 02:34 am (UTC)until an ill-fated Halloween party, and everything fell apart. and sometimes he tries to turn it over in his head, whether he just didn't understand, didn't get it, whether Nancy was too drunk to really mean anything she said. except she couldn't manage to say she loved him after she was sober, either. and then she ran off to god knows where with Jonathan. and then that was that, and the writing was on the wall. it's okay, Nance.
and then she and Jonathan were a thing, and that was just. it.
Steve knows he could just explain it, only. he doesn't want to explain it. honesty is the best policy, sure, but, how Nancy realized he was a shitty boyfriend and that she didn't love him anymore is not exactly Steve's favorite conversation topic. especially with a new girlfriend, who he's desperately trying not to fuck things up with. no, if he can avoid talking about it for now, he's definitely going to. )
No. No! ( dear god, if he can convince her of ANYTHING, it should be that she can say ILU any goddang way she wants. it truly does not matter, it's like catnip to him any possible way. ) No, it's okay. You can tell me however you want. I love you like this is good.
Not that you can't say it in person. I really want to see you, by the way. Can I see you right now?
( because while text ILUs are great, love it! awesome! also... what about in person ILUs? those are also just... great. they should try that. sometime. )
no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 03:41 am (UTC)[She had felt a little silly wanting to ask to see him, and is glad that he's the one that initiates an in person conversation. So often it feels like she's clingy and smothering him, but then he surprises her by showing her that the things she feels and wants are normal. Or are normal for him, at least.]
I'm on my way over now. Are you at your place?
[It's likely he is, and she can just hurry her way over to that part of town on foot. Or he could be at his parent's place, which is just the neighborhood over from hers. That's less likely.
Or if he's not in too bad of shape he can just come pick her up off the street, and they can pull over somewhere quiet. A lot of their important firsts have happened in that car. This can be another one.]
no subject
Date: 2022-08-01 04:24 am (UTC)because the more he thinks about the fact Chrissy loves him, the less he can remember why he was so worried about saying it. hell, even if things go crazy south and some day she doesn't mean it like she does now... she does mean it now. maybe that's enough. )
But I can come get you. If you want? You're at home, aren't you? Is your mom even gonna let you come out tonight? ( not that it's a deterrent, even slightly. Steve would just crawl in her window if she can't come to him. )
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Date: 2022-08-01 04:33 am (UTC)[Can he even manage to climb up and in? She isn't sure. But she's willing to leap out her window and right into the tree outside to climb down if it means getting to see him. He's said that he loves her, she's said that she loves him. And they really need to kiss and hold each other, and just spend time together.
Besides, her mom grounding her is essentially her last hurrah of exerting power over her. Chrissy's been dealing with it, but she's ready to ditch the punishment and just be with the guy she loves.]
But you probably can't climb up with an ice pack. I don't want you to get hurt worse, just so you can see me.
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Date: 2022-08-01 05:12 am (UTC)I want to. I can make it, trust me. I'll come to you.
( maybe they won't be able to get away with much, in her bedroom. turns out that is totally fine, as long as they can whisper three little words back and forth until somebody gets tired of hearing them. )
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Date: 2022-08-01 05:25 am (UTC)[She's just going to run and pile up her notebooks where she's written their initials in hearts on her desk so hopefully he won't see them. And she's going to run downstairs to say goodnight to her parents, saying she's exhausted after cheer practice running late. She knows they won't come check on her after that.
And then she's hauling ass back upstairs, so glad that her room is so far away from both the living room and her parents' room. Her window is unlocked and left open, and as she goes back to her bed she's sure to shove her few remaining stuffed animals onto the floor so he hopefully won't see those either.]
There's a trellis right under my window. Or you can take the tree. I left the window open for you, okay? Be careful!
[Because she knows he might be recklessly headed her way just so he can see her. It's incredibly sweet and romantic, and she thinks it makes her love him a little more.]
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Date: 2022-08-01 05:55 am (UTC)having to park a few blocks away slows him down, too. will his ice even be ice by the time he makes it through her window? frankly if he remembers he brought ice by the time he makes it through her window, it'll truly be astounding. it's kind of deja vu, to sneak around a dark house to find the right window. the trellis is too rickety for him, he's definitely not as light as he was when he clambered up the Wheeler garage. Chrissy might be able to climb down it, he thinks, if there's ever a reason she needs to sneak out. which is. not at all anything she'd ever have to do, ever! since she's such a good girl. but you know. just for future reference, he wouldn't have to worry about her, if she did. so that's good to know!
Steve takes the tree. it is awkward. but he manages. the first announcement of his presence is his backpack (and his likely half melted ice) clearing the open window before he does. the rest of him does follow shortly after, trying to be as quiet as possible when clambering through a window is frankly not a quiet process, even for someone smaller than he is. ) It looks worse than it is, ( Steve insists in a whisper, still only half in Chrissy's window but already prepared to talk her down from the dark purple of his face anyway. look, he really does just bruise too easily! )
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Date: 2022-08-03 01:39 am (UTC)Steve enters the room a few seconds later, and something that doesn't surprise her is how he tries to reassure her right away. It makes sense that he does, because it looks terrible. He doesn't want her to worry about him, so she remains rooted in place in her bed, even as she worries at her lower lip with an anxious nibble.]
Jason did this to you?
[The implication of her question is if Jason did this alone. Or if he had come with friends and they had all ganged up on Steve. Chrissy quickly ditches the idea of not worrying over him, and crawls forward to the edge of her bed. She's on her knees and reaches out to grab his hand and pull him in close. Where of course, she has to take her time really looking him over, fingertips gently trailing along the bruises and swelling that make her heart break.]
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Date: 2022-08-04 09:53 pm (UTC)Steve does not stop Chrissy from dragging him closer, wincing slightly at the touch even though he doesn't actually want her to stop. well, maybe he does, if only because fixating on his face is not actually what he came here for, actually. ) Hey, hey, ( Steve says, trying to draw her attention away from the bruises, catching wandering fingers in a hand with still slightly bloodied knuckles so he can kiss her palm. thanks, that's very nice! that she cares. about his dumb face. they can come back to that later. or never! because his face just is never going to be as compelling to him as the other thing they'd been talking about. )
You know, that thing... That thing you said, the thing you wanted to say out loud? ( Steve is being playfully stupid, on purpose, hoping that he can drag Chrissy out of being worried and back into the moment they accidentally had over text message. his spare hand curves behind her neck, leaning a little closer because even on her knees on the top of her bed, he's still got height advantage standing and it makes it easy to look at her. the strawberry gold of her hair, the bright blue of her eyes. even brighter right now, scrubbed down and soft for bed. god, she's so fucking beautiful, and she loves him? how'd he get to be so damn lucky? ) You could say it now, maybe, ( Steve continues, feeling the stupid smile on his face, because thanks Jason!! smiling hurts, right now!! ) I'm listening.
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Date: 2022-08-06 02:32 am (UTC)[She's just teasing, of course. Those three words are fresh in her mind, and she knows exactly what he wants her to say. His playing stupid makes her smile and laugh though, and she kisses at a bruise on his cheek before pressing another playful one to the tip of his nose.]
That's right! I remember now.
[Hands go to his shoulders, and she moves to lie back on her bed, pulling him down over her. With a smile that's nothing short of radiant, she kisses him for real. It's tender and completely heartfelt, not seeking anything more than sharing how she feels for him right now.]
I love you.
[her lips are against his, their breaths shared as she speaks.]
I love you.
[They're whispered that time, as she kisses at his chin. Her hand presses against his cheek but slips away quickly, not wanting to hurt him. Instead, her fingertips touch at his jawline, and her smile shifts into something entirely smitten.]
I love you.
[God, she's so lucky to have him. They're both lucky really, the way they had come together turning into something this good. There's times where she doesn't feel like she deserves it, with as imperfect as she is, but she knows that he feels the same way about himself. And maybe that's the beautiful thing about their relationship. They're able to build one another up so effortlessly.]
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Date: 2022-08-08 06:26 am (UTC)he's never... well, he's never had anyone kiss the ugly stain of a bruise on his face. it makes his stomach do this weird silly flutter, like he's a goddamn kid falling in love with a girl the first time he saw her in 2nd grade. he's too old for it, surely, all these bubbly funny feelings.
but apparently not, because then she says it, I love you, and it's like Chrissy just ramped all those bubbly funny feelings up to 100. Steve mumbles a delighted little sound, kissing her back as much as he can around the grin on his face, crawling in bed after her so he doesn't have to stop kissing her, even as I love you, I love you, I love you, the world's most perfect mantra, is murmured against his mouth. maybe later, he'll get in his head. wonder how long it'll last. for now, frankly, he's too giddy to hear it he doesn't have it in him to spiral.
Steve has missed being allowed to love someone. having someone that loves him back. of course he was gonna fall for Chrissy, sometimes Steve thinks he might have started before he could even really call her his. her strength, her kindness, her resilience, her smile — how was he ever supposed to not fall straight over, head over niked feet? Steve falls fast and hard, there was just really no way to avoid it. but Chrissy loving him back is the wrinkle he couldn't have anticipated, and what kind of idiot would he be if he tried to poke holes in something he wants so damn much? )
I love you, ( Steve mutters back, hand slipping up the angle of her throat and to the line of her jaw and pausing just to look at her. all the perfect parts of her, even though Chrissy doesn't see it the way he does. the sparkle of her eyes, the freckles that seem to multiply any time she's out in the sun. the sweet little smile with the hint of the world's cutest canines, the way she looks at him like something worth having, worth wanting. Steve smiles again, and he's got a catchup game to play, so, ) I love you, I love you, mmm, ( a lazy drop of his head to bring their mouths back together, and the last promise he doesn't even bother to pull away from her mouth. ) Love you.
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Date: 2022-08-15 01:57 am (UTC)She hadn't been expecting to have love surprise her in a relationship that had started out as an attempt to escape being put in a trophy case alongside Jason Carver's entire basketball and football record. Steve has constantly surprised her, has continually made her a better person. And when he tells her that he loves her now, she knows without any doubt that he means it. He's turned her into someone that's loved, embraces who she is without needing her to be someone else. It's the best feeling in the entire world, and she gets a thrill out of the way her heart races and skips beats.
Making a soft sound against his lips as he kisses her, she genuinely can't stop smiling. It's ridiculous, how someone's love can wrap around her and make her feel like she's flying. That boundless energy she's feeling now is turned to her focus on him, as her leg hikes upward and curls firmly against him.
With as athletic as she is, she can be strong in some situations. Given that she really wants to feel more of him, she finds herself able to move into a roll and flip them with him helping guide them once he feels her trying to shift their positions.
She's smiling down at him as she moves to straddle him, hands trailing slowly along his sides until she can press his hands against the mattress. Resuming her gentle kisses from earlier, she kisses along the bruises to his face, before she starts working a path down along his neck. Yeah, she thinks she'll leave a couple of marks for him to find later. He'll smile about them, she's sure.]
I love you so much it feels like I can't breathe sometimes.
[It's a whispered admission, her breath warm against the curve of his neck.]
And hearing you say it back, it feels like I'm drowning in you. That's weird, right?
[It feels like it might be.]
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Date: 2022-08-15 03:35 am (UTC)it's just that he doesn't have any problem with her rolling him onto his back. he feels the hint the movement of her thigh, and obligingly follows her lead. even if he feels a little too Seen, with his bright purple bruised eye, doing an unfortunate number on his charming good looks. he definitely did forget he packed an ice back in his bag, already, it hasn't even been two minutes.
how is he supposed to think about a bag of ice when Chrissy is pinning his hands to her fluffy bedspread, presses her lips to the sore run of bruises on his face? he just can't. doesn't begin to want to spare the brainpower. there's much better things to focus on, in this moment. )
Drowning? Can't breathe? This is a lifeguard's worst nightmare. ( to be fair, despite getting his certification like clockwork every year, Steve hasn't wanted to actually work as a lifeguard. too much pressure, lives in his hands. he already knows what that feels like. ) Is this where I ask if you need mouth to mouth? ( he's being, just so stupid right now. even Steve is aware. it's just hard not to be a little giddy. punch drunk on Chrissy's kisses and the warmth in her eyes, just for him. he feels like he has to add, ) It's not weird. It's ... it's a good kind of overwhelming. That we can say it, now. I don't think I'm ever gonna be tired of saying that. I love you. Nope, still not there.
( the only problem with this position is Steve can't reach Chrissy's mouth as easily, so he tilts to kiss at the wrist that his hand pinned to the mattress instead. kiss, and then nip. why not? he should 100% be more concerned with the fact her parents are just downstairs, but they're as forgotten as the ice in his backpack. )
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Date: 2022-08-19 01:01 am (UTC)As far as she's concerned, they're the only two here. They're the only two that matter in the entire world, and they're wrapped up in one another and the blanket of love that they've pulled over themselves. It's an absolutely perfect moment, and as her heart races she starts to wonder if it's actually possible to feel something so strongly and so completely that you cry.
It must be, because her eyes fill with tears, and she tries to blink them away before he can see. Her gaze is still just as warm as her smile, cheeks flushed. Her plan fails, because of course it does, and a few tears fall from her eyes and land on him.]
God, I just —
[There's no thought of being embarrassed. No attempt to shy away. Steve has seen her at her worst, and her best. And she likes to think that happy tears because they can't stop declaring their love is one of the best damn things to ever happen to her. They're both at their best right now, vulnerable and open and so caught up in one another that nothing else really matters.
Not even the bruises on his face.
Her mouth works another mark against his neck as she tries to think of the right word to finish her thought. He's definitely going to be littered with bruises tomorrow, but hers are the only ones that matter.]
I love you enough to pretend I definitely need mouth to mouth from my favorite lifeguard.
[Because if they're going with the whole lifeguard motif, why not? He's silly, she's silly. It's amazingly freeing to know she can be as big of a dork as she wants with him and he won't mind.]
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Date: 2022-08-20 04:14 am (UTC)it's better now. he's not as isolated, with his troop of children to look after. Robin, who is truly the best friend a guy could ever ask for, even if she makes fun of his hair and complains about his systems to organize their rental returns. and now Chrissy is part of that orbit, that tight circle of people around him that actually matter and genuinely care. friends he can lean on, be himself around. it's not that the Upside Down is forgotten, it just feels a little less oppressive. when he has other things in his life that are brighter.
Chrissy is pinned in close, and yet somehow Steve can see the shine dancing across her cheekbones anyway. possibly he's too obsessed with looking at her face, at this point. and really he didn't need confirmation that she'd tolerate some mouth to mouth, that's enough on its own to roll their bodies to have Chrissy on her back, instead. it's not her mouth he kisses, instead the apples of her cheeks, the overwhelmed stain of tears. as long as they're happy, Steve can live with them. )
Really... really quiet, mouth to mouth, ( Steve agrees, a little husky-hopeful, leaning in to kiss her again. it's an objectively bad decision to try for anything more than some breathless kisses, and maybe at some point he'll catch some common sense. and he won't try to make love to his girl with her parents just downstairs. but, just a kiss, that's cool, right? how can they share those three beautiful little words and not touch each other after? is it even possible? the slight twinge across his cheekbone is not enough deterrent to stop him from kissing her, and it really is like they're sharing oxygen. maybe not fair to imply he's responsible, no, kissing Chrissy feels a bit like learning to breathe all over again, like maybe he just. hasn't been, not really, like his lungs only remembered how to really take air in when it's her that he's breathing in. )
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Date: 2022-09-16 12:31 am (UTC)Very quiet mouth to mouth.
[She breathlessly laughs in between kisses, their breaths mingling as she keeps him held in close with a hand in the back of his hair. It almost feels like too much, having him over her like this, knowing that he loves her in return. There's no way she can get enough of him, absolutely no amount of breathing him in and tasting him as his tongue delves into her mouth will ever be enough. Chrissy is hopelessly addicted to her boy.
And maybe just a little bit hopelessly devoted, too.
Because she sure wouldn't have been this risky with Jason. She never would've smiled like this, never would've given herself so wholly and freely to him. But with Steve, it's easy. It feels natural, like he's become an easy extension of herself. They're not just Chrissy and Steve, they're ChrissyandSteve. Steve and the girl he loves. Chrissy and the man she's going to try and not undress while he's in her room on a school night and her parents are downstairs watching tv.
They both have gone through so much. And she knows that they'll likely face more of the upside down together. How could they not, in a place like Hawkins? But at least they have each other now. And that makes her feel invincible. So maybe that's why her mouth works a trail down along his neck, nipping and sucking to leave marks behind. She can blame that rush of endorphins on why her hands work at the button on his jeans. Really, she hadn't planned on doing more than just kissing. But when you get wrapped up in someone and caught in the moment, hands tend wander and have a mind of their own.]
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Date: 2022-09-17 11:58 pm (UTC)so his intention had been just to kiss the living daylights out of Chrissy Cunningham, honestly. his face is still sore but there's no such thing as too sore to kiss the girl he loves. it's been so long since he could say that. and that Chrissy loves him back only makes it feel even more overwhelming. trying to stay quiet with an ugly stain of purple over his eye is not exactly how Steve intended this confession to go. it's fundamentally far from perfect.
more and more, though, he realizes he doesn't care if it isn't perfect. so what? perfect is painted on, mostly to impress people that won't be satisfied, anyway. Steve doesn't want perfect with Chrissy, he'd rather sloppy and unexpected and messy and spontaneous. love isn't about perfect. Steve doesn't want perfect. he just wants Chrissy.
her fingers are tight in his hair, her body is warm under his. he can feel the thrum of her heartbeat underneath him, every delighted ragged breath she makes. it's dizzying (maybe that's the head injury? no definitely Chrissy). her reaching between them, trying to work open his jeans, doesn't really register as it should. mostly because getting into it and stripping each other is ... pretty normal, if they're in bed together. it's just that it's his bed, usually. or her parents are away for the weekend. not just downstairs! )
Chrissy, ( Steve mumbles, against the sweet pink of her mouth. he doesn't even know what he's asking. is she sure? what is she up to? don't stop? somehow, all of it, at once. )
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Date: 2022-09-28 06:30 am (UTC)Do you want to stop?
[She may be incredibly horny right now, but she's not going to push him into fooling around in her bed if he's not comfortable with it. Then again, she may pout until he gives in and takes off his jeans so she won't have to do it. It's really up in the air how it's going to go.]
Because we can. It's okay.
[Her body, meanwhile, screams that it's not okay. She'll be incredibly frustrated and pressed if it's not okay and she's pressing for too much. Maybe he'll feel the need to run off and leave her here hot and bothered and all alone. It probably would serve her right. She can't help herself though. She always wants him, and she knows they're both riding high on declarations of love.]
I mean —
[She pauses, stealing a couple of kisses. Just little pecks, one that smack loudly in the quiet of her bedroom.]
I want to keep going. But we can stop.
[Obviously.]
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Date: 2022-10-09 05:11 am (UTC)still, he's gotta try. not really to respect Chrissy's parents — Steve has happily made out with Chrissy Cunningham in her own bedroom before, and he'd do it again, damnit. it's more... look. if they're going to make love (whatever, if that makes him cheesy, then he's a huge goddamn cheeseball) he doesn't want it to be somewhere they have to force themselves to be quiet, or repress what they're feeling. )
I want to keep going, ( Steve promises, chasing her kisses, a palm locking at the nape of her neck, lost in the hint of a smile as it tilts up the corners of her mouth. historically, Steve has never had a time where he wants to stop kissing Chrissy, he is sure as shit not going to start now. he almost forgets the rest in the taste of her lips and the easy way she slips her body against his. he even makes a face, when he pulls back enough to look her in the eye. )
Just... what if we get out of here first? ( instead of trying to sneak in a few kisses and touches, they can go somewhere where they can have all the kisses and touches they want. that'd be better, wouldn't it? chances are good Chrissy will just get in more trouble, if her mom realizes they snuck her out. it's just, maybe, this sort of moment would be worth it. getting away might not be convincing enough on its own, though, so Steve nuzzles closer, even if it makes the run of purple on his face tinge a little. whatever. worth it. )