Untrue colors? ( Steve guesses, badly, because he's pretty sure he's heard the song, maybe even sung along to it a few times. but it's no Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, okay? doesn't stick in the head that well. what is that one about, again? why is he having to Sherlock Holmes her weekend, he's not good at that shit!! Nancy!!!
don't wanna talk about it yet. about the weekend, about Cyndi Lauper's discography, or about Jonathan? Jesus, maybe he should have had Nance call back. he is losing his entire shit, internally. Nancy has caught on to the holes in his cool guy routine, sure, but Steve could really stand to pretend he had his shit more together right about now.
Steve breathes a half sigh of relief, half huff of a laugh. I missed you. that could mean anything, and it still leaves a warm bubbly feeling in his chest to hear it out loud. ) I missed you too, ( Steve agrees, leaning against the wall and wishing it wasn't a phone line connecting them. that Nancy was close enough to touch, to draw closer, to -— things that aren't appropriate to think or imagine about girls that maybe have boyfriends still. fuck! ) This week was about... a million years long. Right? Not talking to you. But... you're okay. Okay, okay?
Nn-hn, it would still be called True Colors, but the real song is about... despite how bad things can get sometimes, how scary, or how heavy life can be, she loves the person she's singing about, and she sees them, and wants them to keep fighting, and being brave, and being true to themselves. And that she'll always be there to support them, and build them up, and listen to them, and fight for them, and help them live out their dreams. No matter what. [ ... okay so she started projecting at the end there, listing off the opposite of what her talk with jonathan felt like. she chews her lip, trying not to think too much about babbling to steve harrington how shitty jonathan byers turned out to be. ]
So... yeah, basically as soon as I told Jonathan that I needed to talk with him, all of a sudden he had a lot to say, starting with the fact that he doesn't want to go to Emerson with me, at all, and never really did. And to make it a little worse, he made sure to let me know he even lied about mailing out his application in the first place, which means he's been lying to me at least since the Byers moved to California. And because of all of that, he made up his mind a long time ago that our relationship is doomed to fail. [ anoooooother sigh ] I- don't know. But what I do know is that it was all bullshit.
[ ... she actually really didn't want to go into it, but it was hard not to have it end up there. like her mouth went on autopilot or something for a moment. she switches the phone to her other ear, rolling out her shoulder with a quiet whine. she needs to drop the subject before she totally gets sucked into worrying and feeling annoyed and hurt about it again. ]
--Anyway.
It really did feel like a million years. [ she sounds a little pouty again, but at least in a playful sort of way this time. ] I wanted to call you sooner, but I still felt so- weird, and so out of it before today. My head was all over the place, and I just- It wouldn't have felt right, I guess? I felt really selfish, anytime I thought about calling you, until today.
( well, that sounds nice. Steve makes a mental note to give it a listen, and actually listen, sometime. though, the opposite of that, uh, the opposite of that would be bad. his brows are tucked downward, intently trying to put the puzzle pieces together, and it's not that they're hard to click into place or anything. it's just that he needs to be sure that he isn't looking at the wrong side of the puzzle and totally misunderstanding what she's trying to say.
Steve hears about Jonathan, tangentially, sometimes. it's a game of telephone. what Dustin says about him, that Will says about him. that he's made friends, gotten a little too into smoking weed. the guy sounds... aimless. and weirdly, Steve relates to that feeling, a little too well. it's just strange that the guy seems so lost in his own life, when everybody knows he and Nancy were supposed to have figured it out junior year. Steve hasn't seen the guy since everything went bad, and he's pretty sure Nancy hasn't, either.
maybe it's because his brain cannot comprehend not wanting to make things work with Nancy Wheeler, but if all of this shit was building up between them... why didn't they talk about it months ago? )
Sounds like... a lot. ( Steve says it carefully, trying to keep the sounds like he was an asshole out of his tone. which isn't helpful, or productive. but what was the point in lying? with all the... everything, they've all gone through. who gives a shit if Jonathan doesn't want to go to Emerson anymore? they've killed monsters and saved his brother from a mind flayer possession and taken down an entire lab, going to different schools is pretty small potatoes. Steve doesn't get it, but it might not be for him to get. ) It's not... We can talk whenever you want.
( maybe Steve isn't thinking that one through. he doesn't actually want to listen to Jancy relationship woes, especially not from the source. it's just a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of not having Nancy around. not talking to her anymore. even if they're doomed to be friends with practically painful sexual chemistry until the end of time, talking to her and yes, being her friend (cheesy, but the absolute truth), is so much better than distance. it just is. ) Can I do anything about your head? I get it isn't an extended release Tylenol situation, so. ( what would put her head back in one place??? he's here to assist. )
[ it's fine, because she'd be lying if she tried to say she didn't appreciate the sounds like he was an asshole-ness of his tone right now. it speaks to the part of her that wants to ask him if she can borrow his baseball bat ( which is technically her baseball bat, but, y'know. it's his. ) for a quick trip to lenora hills. but no, on the scale of "crippling sadness" to "unbridled fury", she happens to be in the sorta-mellow-sorta-sad bracket of emotions right now, so baseball bat vengeance doesn't really appeal to her. she's too tired to let herself be mad about it all. ..again. maybe later, though. ]
It was- Yeah. Definitely a lot. But we don't- I mean. I can't promise that it won't ever come up? But I wouldn't do that to you. To us both, actually, considering I would really rather not even think about him, let alone talk about him - at all - once we get together again. [ a beat ] Once we get to spend time together. Again. [ stupid. but it's not like she could have just been like "i meant IF not WHEN" because that might have been worse? maybe? ugh. she's too Tired to figure out how words work right now ] But, um. Just talking to you is already helping. Really. Even though I've managed to do most of the talking so far. [ she sighs ] I was about to say that I'm yet again wishing you really could teleport, but- I kind of have a 'Night of the Living Dead' thing going on right now? A sort of couch-zombie chic, if you will? So... We should probably just stick to a phone call. For now, anyway.
( sometimes, when you're doing a puzzle, something just clicks. you see a face, find that one last piece that connects the sides, something just happens and it all comes together. easy. for Steve, that puzzle piece is when we get together again. there's more nervous rambling before and after, and yet that's the only part that really registers. the stupid anxiety of the past week fades and it feels like the last line of a barricade has suddenly fallen over, like it was barely there at all this whole time. )
Nance. ( just, a casual drop to slow down the uncertain rambling, which is a blatant neon sign that Nancy is nervous. call him a smug prick, but he's always found it delightfully thrilling when he manages to rankle Nancy Wheeler. rambling, or astonished silence, no I'm not paired with a smile that gave her away, every single time. ) If this is you calling to tell me you broke up with Jonathan, I don't really want to keep it to a phone call. Do you?
[ ugh. it turns out that it's actually really annoying that steve's gotten so much better at reading her, because how dare he be able to call her out like this, by literally JUST saying her name??? rude. it's rude. ]
Yes, it is. And no, I really don't. But I guess I thought- I don't know what I thought. But of course I don't want to keep it to a phone call! [ huff!!! followed by a whiny noise that rivals dustin henderson's whine when he doesn't get his way. ] But I stink, there is absolutely no way I don't stink right now, and I should have waited until after I took a shower to call you, but I didn't because I was too impatient. And it turns out that finally getting to talk to you, just to have to hang up to go shower after only about five minutes, is actually worse. [ but it's obvious that she's gotten up off the couch during this babble, because there's the heavy thump of her favorite knitted blanket being balled up and tossed onto the couch, and the crinkle of leftover halloween candy wrappers getting quickly picked up and crunched in her palm. ] You should meet me here! [ as if on cue, her eyes land on the half-eaten tin of cookies on the couch ] No! I take it back. I'll meet you at yours. Yeah?
( annoying! but very helpful, in this particular instance. because this conversation going any longer over the phone suddenly sounds and feels excruciating. the fact Nancy is concerned about showers is probably an indication that she's still hung up on the relationship that just ended and he should give it some space and the neutral distance of a phonecall might before the best and he should read the room on that one he just
can't. he really can't. he just wants to see her! right? not a big loaded deal or anything, that Nancy distinctly doesn't have a boyfriend anymore. it's been awhile and he wants to see her. it's fine. it's totally fine. they've grown, they're older and wiser and battle hardened, they can handle being platonic friends just as well when both of them are single! definitely. they're gonna be absolutely fine.
what isn't fine is the idea of just sitting here, for however long it takes Nancy to arrive. ) No, no no. ( not gonna work. he's going to go out of his mind before she gets here. ) I'll come get you. We'll drive somewhere, maybe. ( maybe the steering wheel and gear shift between them can keep them from being ridiculous about this! great thinking. the where is irrelevant, as long as Nancy shotgun next to him and the electric idea of being with her without Jonathan an unspoken ghost between them. no longer taking up too much of the oxygen. ) Twenty minutes? Fine. Half an hour.
( it's like he heard the feverish rebuttal ramble in his head before Nancy could even start it. )
[ look maybe she should have insisted that no, she'll meet him at his place! but going for a drive actually does sound kinda perfect. going for a drive with steve specifically, yes. but!! ]
Ste-!
[ oop, yep, he got her there, for sure. twenty minutes???? PLEASE. but the extra ten makes it almost fathomable. more than twenty, at least. and like, no, she will not be arrested if she's not totally ready exactly when he gets there to pick her up, but she doesn't want to make him wait either!! ]
Okay, okay! Thirty minutes, but don't you dare get here sooner than that. Got it? Or... maybe you could wait thirty minutes and then get in the car? Please? [ surely he'll have sympathy for the fact that she can't just shower and run out the door all willy-nilly, not while she's trying to grow out her perm! that would be a nightmare. a long, frizzy, curly, fried-hair nightmare!! ] No, thirty minutes is fine. I can do that. But I have to hang up like, right now to make that happen, so. [ she huffs a breath, the smiley kind ] I'll see you soon, okay? Thirty minutes. ..Bye.
[ she manages to wait until he gets a chance to say "bye" to her too before hanging up, at least? but then she's almost running through the house, and up the stairs, for the fastest shower of her life. HALF AN HOUR. the nerve. but she'll make it happen, of course she will, because holy shit, she can't wait to see him. literally, just- so excited to see him. the same way she was always excited to see him before homeroom, or between classes, or in the parking lot after school, or- okayokayokay, yes, all the cheesy things. it just feels good, everything about this right now feels good, especially after the complete fuck fest of the whole past week, so. she thinks she's earned some time focusing on the cheesy things. ]
( Steve doesn't have a perm, he doesn't have any respect for what a shower and no product would do to Nancy's hair. however, as someone whose shower routine definitely borders on half an hour, if not longer, he'll give her a little grace. )
I'm setting a stop watch. ( Steve warns, in lieu of goodbye. okay, so not a lot of grace. some concession is a small win when part of him is tempted to go over right the hell now, storm inside to find Nancy in whatever state of being she happens to be in. still in a bathrobe with her hair in a towel be damned. there's probably talking or something they have to do, yup, mmhmm. maybe when he sees her he'll catch some sense and his automatic gut instinct of kiss girl now will have faded a little.
it's just he's been really wanting to. for... well, to be fair, it has been quite a bit longer than just their platonic rekindled friendship. it's just that it has been especially bad, lately, and now he can and he doesn't have to feel bad for an asshole off in California, he can just. do it. amazing. astounding! yes, there's more to it than that. a lot more.
just seems like a reasonable place to start, is all.
Steve keeps his word, waits exactly thirty minutes before he drives over. was the key already in the ignition? maybe. it's the thought that counts. and Nancy is in overtime, still beyond the impenetrable fortress of her front door when he parks. he's a little too on edge to just sit in the driver's seat and wait so he gets out and leans on the passenger side. maybe he'll do some gentlemanly bullshit. open her door and all that. if Nancy ever shows, that is. Karen Wheeler has peeked at him through the kitchen curtains and not come outside to check in, so her awareness of her driveway is already higher than Steve would like it to be. he hasn't smoked a stress cigarette in nearly a year, Steve made a point of quitting when Robin made exaggerated faces any time he tried to smoke in the car.
he could really use one right now, though. Steve frowns, and checks his watch, because christ it has to have been at least an hour! forty three minutes rounds to an hour, so in a manner of speaking, he's not wrong. )
[ so her shower does take a little longer than it should have, if she actually intended on hitting this 30 minute deadline, but it was less because of her hair, and more because she was just- scrubbing. like the sudsy loofa could not only scrub away the couch potato vibe of her week, but also all the lingering mental fog and tiny floating question marks that keep popping up in her mind. she feels somewhat manic, being so excited to see steve while also processing that this is making the breakup more real, somehow. in a good way. feeling like a weight's been lifted off of her shoulders is one thing, but knowing she has someone ( someones, but she's only focused on a particular someone right now ) that will bear witness in a "fiiiiinally, that weight was so obnoxious." way, makes it better. because, yeah. finally. fucking finally.
her front door swings open at the 46 minute mark, and the strap of her crossbody bag isn't, in fact, across her body, but instead swings freely as she clutches her purse in her hand instead because who has time to put her bag on properly? not nancy. her hair hasn't even dried all the way, but it's bundled up in a messy ponytail on top of her head anyway, so it doesn't matter all that much. she's not wearing makeup either, but her body spray is flowery, and her breath is cinnaminty, and this is the best she has to offer with a 46 minute time limit. she doesn't think he'll mind very much.
god, her front lawn is literally 10 miles long, who knew? she started with a casually brisk pace as she stepped through the front door and pulled it shut behind her, but once she's about two thirds of the way to to where he's standing there next to his car, she hops into something a little quicker. all too eager, bright smiles, eyes crinkled at the corners, breath catching, a bit.
and oh, shit, she definitely wants to kiss him. she wants to kiss him and then just keep kissing him through the next 10 to 15 business days. she wants to tackle him. she- whoa, she's feeling way too much, all at once. shit, shit, shit. and "i need to kiss him" becomes "i need the most steve harrington hug that steve harrington has ever hugged". she's still smiling by the time she's close enough to lift her arms and telegraph that she's coming in for a hug first without it being totally weird, because she needs it, she really does. and her eyes might be a little glassy, sure, but who has time too focus on that?
despite all the mental prep and "i'm coming in for the hug!!" body language she made sure to send his way, she still manages to sort of crash into him with more, ah, impact than she really meant to. oops. but it's okay. it's so okay. he's sturdy. he's got her. her voice is muffled because she hasn't pulled away, and fully intends on keeping her face buried against his chest for a while longer, yup ]
Hi. M'sorry I'm late. [ her arms squeeze!!!! around his middle!! so tight!!! and then a noticeable amount of tension sinks out of her body as she relaxes again. while still hugging him with gusto ] I really missed you.
( this is undoubtedly the longest three minutes of his life. Steve checks his watch at least ten different times and it's almost like the hands are running backwards, like this is some wigged out Vecna dream. that would just be his luck, wouldn't it! Steve, I broke up with Jonathan! and then he waits on Nancy indefinitely, in some sort of awful goddamn limbo where she both isn't with Jonathan but isn't anywhere else, either. only Karen is giving him a knowing smile and wave as she shuts the kitchen curtains, and hopefully waving back takes up about 15 minutes and he can blink and then Nancy will be here, already.
it doesn't work quite like that, actually, though almost at the same time. distracts him at least long enough that Nancy is through the door and picking a determined path across the grass. part of him wants to meet her in the middle, which is ridiculous really. it hasn't been that long and he feels like they're in the middle of a dramatic reunion after months or even years apart. longing and hoping and wishing, and that's just ridiculous, jesus. it's barely been a week!
he battles with the idea so long that he doesn't actually have time to catch up. because Nancy is moving faster as he straightens and if he was leaning forward into a step in her direction, it is about all he manages before they collide. Steve didn't quite realize he was holding his breath until impact knocks the rest of it out of him. Nancy can hit like a tiny linebacker, when the occasion calls for it. usually, it's a scared thing. the ground beneath them shaking, and bats just chewed off his sides. someone or something reminded her of a shadow she couldn't, or wouldn't, talk about, and the only thing that seemed to reassure her at all was holding onto him like the last piece of safety in the storm. it's nice that this time, it isn't a scared thing. is it? doesn't really matter, the response is the same. winding her up as close and impossibly tight as he can, like she's afloat and he's the anchor and if he holds her close enough she'll know he won't let go. )
Hi, ( Steve laughs, leaning into the vice of Nancy's grip, face tucked in the still damp texture of her hair. he was really gonna get on her case about the late thing, he was, but now that she's here he completely forgot. what a sucker, honestly. Nancy relaxes a second too late because he uses the arms around her and his high ground advantage to lean back and take her with him, in the way that he used to by her locker that'd earn a STEEEEVE! as she batted at his sides and arms, but when he released her she'd always be pink and smiling that trying-not-to-smile smile, tucking her hair behind her ears. he doesn't leave her weightless long, he never does — and when she's back on the ground his hands shift around, anchor at her shoulders and then her neck and then her face. because he can't quite let go yet but he wants to look at her. have his cake and eat it too. look her in those impossible blue eyes, the smile lines that only sneak out when she's happy. )
I missed you too. ( in ways they don't have to dissect, actually. so much longer than just this week — and now he doesn't have to feel bad about it, missing a girl that had moved on and was with someone else. he doesn't really know what the next thing for them is, just that it is a relief to be able to admit it, out loud. how much he misses Nancy when she's not around. in more than a just friends sort of way. after all, this isn't how a platonic friend should really look at or hold another platonic friend. and it's wildly thrilling that he can flip the rules of being a platonic friend the bird because he was never that good at it anyway. )
[ so the thing about steve's penchant for literally sweeping her off her feet at any given moment, no matter where they were, is that after the first few times it happened, she picked up on a very specific tell. a split second warning. ..when he doesn't sneak up on her from behind, of course. but he doesn't simply hug her tight and haul her back, there's always a subtle adjustment in how he's holding onto her- his arms drop just an inch or two lower than where they usually settle when he hugs her and squeeze her tight, giving her just enough time to mentally prepare before liftoff. and it's not like nancy forgot about all that, but it's been years and she's already feeling some type of way, so when she feels that tell, all she manages to do in preparation is laugh, breathless. literally, as he holds her tighter and lifts her higher than she remembers, like it's easier, maybe. which is- a thing she'll think about later, absolutely.
for now she's too busy tipping her chin up and scrunching her whole face at him as soon as both of her feet plant on solid ground again, in the worst attempt at a glare she's ever given him. but she doesn't get to the part when she halfheartedly shoves his chest and pouts at him over it - how dare he? - because it turns out that the way steve's hands frame her face still makes her brain instantly turn to marshmallow fluff. so all that dramatic face-scrunching smooths out, leaving behind an expression that probably looks downright dreamy.
he tells her he missed her too, and it shouldn't make her smile turn bashful considering she said it first, but it still does. she huffs a breath through her nose, but she can't pull her usual hair-tuck-and-hide-for-a-second shenanigans when he's holding her face, so she tucks her face to nose at the heel of his hand instead. and then presses a soft kiss there, before she can think better of it. ... not that kissing his palm is like, this huge deal or anything, but she hasn't kissed steve harrington in a very long time, so maybe it is a little bit of a huge deal. just a little.
she lifts a hand to curl around his wrist, fingertips sliding up to press against the back of his hand, not wanting him to move again just yet. when she turns her face to look up at him again, she presses her cheek there instead. and it's not exactly the smartest move, letting herself literally lean into the affection he's giving her, because now she can't stop thinking about kissing him, but it's fine. now that the worst of her breakup is in the rearview mirror, it's almost as if they have al thee time in the world, to figure out how to move forward. how they want to do this. whatever this is. she knows what she wants it to be, but they haven't talked about it yet. plus, she's practically an adult! and very mature for her age! she can handle this type of closeness without letting her hormones fuck it all u-
oh, she's kissing him. she's up on her toes as tall as she can reach, and it only lasts a few seconds, but it's soft and it's sweet and it's exactly what she needed after the horrendously shitty week she just had. and exactly what she's wanted for, ohh, months now. way too long. longer than she should have been wanting it. oops? ]
Sorry. [ she doesn't sound sorry, considering she sort of whispers it again his lips, and she doesn't look sorry either, once she's flat on her feet again, looking up at him with a cheeky grin. ] Couldn't help it.
( it's strange, really, that Steve notes the exact same thing — it is easier to hold both of their weight, now. Steve really thought he was in good shape, back when he was in school. running every sport he could play decently, always on the move. practically endless practices, burning more calories than he was taking in. picking Nancy up wasn't exactly difficult, but it was noticeable. a pleasant sort of feeling, that he could. he got depressed and lazy after graduation, maybe a little too much ice cream. but after getting his ass beat a third time, hard not to want to be a bit more prepared when faced with a fourth.
it helped (well, help is a strong word) that everything compounded to the point that sleep started to get spotty. and if he was up anyway, why not a run? or a swim? or hit a few weights. the point is, he's curved back around. Nancy's mom had noted he'd really grown up, which was a little embarrassing to hear from Karen Wheeler in that tone of voice, but maybe he has if defying gravity to hold Nancy a little closer is easier than it's ever been.
Steve can't hold onto her forever. it's tempting, because when she's weightless they feel just the tiniest bit closer, somehow. maybe because there's so much trust in letting him hold her like that, or because Nancy tends to cling to him when she realizes what is going to happen and it feels good, having her wound around him like a vine. but, no, putting her down is a good call because he missed her face at least as much as the rest of her. maybe more, since friendly touch was sort of a strange electric obstacle that they never really figured out, and looking Nancy in the eye was a safe (and yet not that safe) place in the throes of platonic sexual tension.
and her expression is so wide and so big and so open, it's hard to imagine looking anywhere else. Steve didn't have much time to consider what this means, for them. what he should expect. if he should expect anything! both of them have been through it and losing a relationship... sucks. being diplomatic about the situation, it sucks. losing that connection to someone. Nancy might need time, and he should really give it to her. maybe he's hoping, maybe he's feeling like there's a chance here. but they don't have to rush it! just seeing her is enough, really, and he can navigate whatever until this is a little less raw. he can! he's been her platonic friend this long, how much harder can it be with an added, no boyfriend wrinkle?
much harder, turns out. because when she tilts into his palm, looks up at him with the soft little smile, tiny pressure points of her fingertips on his skin so familiar and yet foreign all at once, it's just. a lot. it's not like he stopped wanting and wishing, after that stupid crawling backwards talk. in fact he's probably wanted and wished more, back in Nancy's life. being around her is sort of impossible, because in a lot of ways she's changed but in the most important ways, she hasn't. she's still the girl who cares, who fights, who is so headstrong it drives him goddamn nuts, yet he admires at the same time. his thumb runs the apple of her cheek and it is unbelievably overwhelming, how much he wants to kiss her. how is he going to just be her platonic friend now? fuck.
luckily, he doesn't have to worry about it long. Nancy can see the tells he's going to lift her from a mile away, and actually Steve remembers the tells of kiss incoming too. how her grip on him, wherever, will tighten just a little. how she slots her feet between his, like that's some sort of optimal positioning to go on tiptoe so she can reach. it'd just be practical to put a hand behind his neck or in his hair to drag him down a little, it's just Nancy is too stubborn for such things. no, she's gonna get there on her own power. and it's perfect and fleeting and delightful deja vu all at once, because she can't sustain kisses like that, not unless she starts leaning and Nancy is always weirdly against that unless he winds her up and limits her options. )
Yeah, me too, ( Steve says, but before she can get it in her head that he means being kissed at all, he tilts back down to fix the issue. the kiss wasn't the problem, it was that it stopped too damn early that deserves an apology. and yeah there's talk they've got to talk, and making sense of next steps that is ultimately inevitable. just... can't they have this, a little longer? he's been missing kissing Nancy for a lot longer than the week and he can now, it just seems impossible not to reacquaint himself with the feel of her mouth and the way it smiles against the press of his. )
[ there's no reasonable explanation for the way her breath catches when he dips down to kiss her considering she's the one that smashed apart that already very fragile boundary, but when she takes a second to think about it later, she'll realize it's because she's missed this very steve-harrington-specific affection more than she's let herself think about. the way he has this impossible ability to rile up the butterflies that are reserved for first kisses only is part of it, because once they kick up a fuss, there's no stopping the way she smiles against his lips right before she lifts up into it with a press of her teeth. she won't lean against him yet, she's so got this, she's just pressing her hands against his chest ( then sliding one of them up to curl her fingers over his shoulders, and the other at the back of his neck ) because... well, what else is she supposed to do with her hands? not touch him? don't be ridiculous.
the next time she ends up interrupting their kiss with a smile, it evolves into a sort of bubbly laugh that she had no say in, so she presses her lips against his harder, like that might stop it, but no such luck. gravity beats her hormones and puts her back flat on her feet again, but it's fine. she's taking the opportunity to wind her arms tight around his middle, her forehead tipping to rest right in the middle of his chest, giving her a place to hide until she convinces those butterflies to chill the fuck out and stop making her giggle like she did the minute she was alone after the first time he kissed her. she's pretty sure it's not cute anymore!!
she huffs a breath before tipping her chin up again, which means she's sort of talking to his chin from this close, but that's okay. it's a great chin. ]
We should drive somewhere. [ a beat ] Do you think 2am breakfast will taste the same at 2pm? Or would that be too weird at this point? [ she grins, her head tipping to the side even though she hasn't leaned back yet. ] Do you think that diner even exists once the sun comes up?
( it's been a long time. since he could kiss Nancy Wheeler. there was a strong chance that it just wouldn't have the same spark it used to — there's all sorts of distance and damage and disaster between them. maybe it could have clouded how it feels to kiss her. maybe it was just anticipation and grass-is-greener yearning clouding his judgement. still, it takes exactly one kiss to lambast that idea. two, technically, the point is him being less inclined to kiss Nancy because of their complicated past is immediately dead in the water. he still gets the same warm fuzzy cookies-just-out-of-the-oven feeling when she smiles and tilts her chin up to make sure their mouths meet just so. only about 180 seconds have passed since Steve was hyper aware of Karen Wheeler snooping from behind her curtains, and now nothing matters but this moment and Nancy's fingers still curved around his wrist. the fact he can lean down and kiss her and that's just a thing, again.
Steve has dreamed of getting to kiss Nancy Wheeler again. a little too much to be healthy or practical, probably. but here it is. and it's even better than he could have hoped for, somehow. her titter of a laugh is about how his heartbeat feels. light and unsure and delighted and disbelieving. can heartbeats be disbelieving? well, consider this the first time, then.
it can't last forever. they can't get lost in a storm of kisses, this is a very public avenue and Mrs. Jensen is just across the street working in her flowerbed. Steve is lucky Nancy is the one that comes to her senses first, because he's not sure he ever would. she pulls back, winds arms around him, face tucked in the fabric of his shirt. she's talking, mumbling, something something pancakes — Steve is delayed in comprehending any of it, arm settling over her shoulders and face ducking down into her hair, momentarily overwhelmed. it almost feels unreal, that this could be happening. maybe he should scout out for the freaky psychic that ambles around looking like somebody skinned the grinch. but Vecna likes to make you see ugly things, doesn't he? and this isn't ugly. it's a rare shot of sunshine, a moment of unbridled promise. a second chance, maybe. so as unreal as it might feel, it sure seems like this is actually happening. )
No, definitely different. Better or worse, can't decide. ( it'll either be better for being close to a normal human being, rested and all that — or worse, because strung out 2am insomnia brain isn't firing on all cylinders and isn't to hard to impress. Steve huffs a laugh, at the idea an entire truckstop disappears into the ether when it isn't the midnight hour. ) We better find out. For science. You know?
( so, yes. a drive. somewhere. anywhere. at this point, doesn't really matter where, as long as it is with Nancy. )
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Date: 2022-11-12 07:49 am (UTC)don't wanna talk about it yet. about the weekend, about Cyndi Lauper's discography, or about Jonathan? Jesus, maybe he should have had Nance call back. he is losing his entire shit, internally. Nancy has caught on to the holes in his cool guy routine, sure, but Steve could really stand to pretend he had his shit more together right about now.
Steve breathes a half sigh of relief, half huff of a laugh. I missed you. that could mean anything, and it still leaves a warm bubbly feeling in his chest to hear it out loud. ) I missed you too, ( Steve agrees, leaning against the wall and wishing it wasn't a phone line connecting them. that Nancy was close enough to touch, to draw closer, to -— things that aren't appropriate to think or imagine about girls that maybe have boyfriends still. fuck! ) This week was about... a million years long. Right? Not talking to you. But... you're okay. Okay, okay?
( Steve Harrington, what does that even mean. )
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Date: 2022-11-12 08:51 am (UTC)So... yeah, basically as soon as I told Jonathan that I needed to talk with him, all of a sudden he had a lot to say, starting with the fact that he doesn't want to go to Emerson with me, at all, and never really did. And to make it a little worse, he made sure to let me know he even lied about mailing out his application in the first place, which means he's been lying to me at least since the Byers moved to California. And because of all of that, he made up his mind a long time ago that our relationship is doomed to fail. [ anoooooother sigh ] I- don't know. But what I do know is that it was all bullshit.
[ ... she actually really didn't want to go into it, but it was hard not to have it end up there. like her mouth went on autopilot or something for a moment. she switches the phone to her other ear, rolling out her shoulder with a quiet whine. she needs to drop the subject before she totally gets sucked into worrying and feeling annoyed and hurt about it again. ]
--Anyway.
It really did feel like a million years. [ she sounds a little pouty again, but at least in a playful sort of way this time. ] I wanted to call you sooner, but I still felt so- weird, and so out of it before today. My head was all over the place, and I just- It wouldn't have felt right, I guess? I felt really selfish, anytime I thought about calling you, until today.
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Date: 2022-11-12 11:51 pm (UTC)Steve hears about Jonathan, tangentially, sometimes. it's a game of telephone. what Dustin says about him, that Will says about him. that he's made friends, gotten a little too into smoking weed. the guy sounds... aimless. and weirdly, Steve relates to that feeling, a little too well. it's just strange that the guy seems so lost in his own life, when everybody knows he and Nancy were supposed to have figured it out junior year. Steve hasn't seen the guy since everything went bad, and he's pretty sure Nancy hasn't, either.
maybe it's because his brain cannot comprehend not wanting to make things work with Nancy Wheeler, but if all of this shit was building up between them... why didn't they talk about it months ago? )
Sounds like... a lot. ( Steve says it carefully, trying to keep the sounds like he was an asshole out of his tone. which isn't helpful, or productive. but what was the point in lying? with all the... everything, they've all gone through. who gives a shit if Jonathan doesn't want to go to Emerson anymore? they've killed monsters and saved his brother from a mind flayer possession and taken down an entire lab, going to different schools is pretty small potatoes. Steve doesn't get it, but it might not be for him to get. ) It's not... We can talk whenever you want.
( maybe Steve isn't thinking that one through. he doesn't actually want to listen to Jancy relationship woes, especially not from the source. it's just a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of not having Nancy around. not talking to her anymore. even if they're doomed to be friends with practically painful sexual chemistry until the end of time, talking to her and yes, being her friend (cheesy, but the absolute truth), is so much better than distance. it just is. ) Can I do anything about your head? I get it isn't an extended release Tylenol situation, so. ( what would put her head back in one place??? he's here to assist. )
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Date: 2022-11-13 03:28 am (UTC)It was- Yeah. Definitely a lot. But we don't- I mean. I can't promise that it won't ever come up? But I wouldn't do that to you. To us both, actually, considering I would really rather not even think about him, let alone talk about him - at all - once we get together again. [ a beat ] Once we get to spend time together. Again. [ stupid. but it's not like she could have just been like "i meant IF not WHEN" because that might have been worse? maybe? ugh. she's too Tired to figure out how words work right now ] But, um. Just talking to you is already helping. Really. Even though I've managed to do most of the talking so far. [ she sighs ] I was about to say that I'm yet again wishing you really could teleport, but- I kind of have a 'Night of the Living Dead' thing going on right now? A sort of couch-zombie chic, if you will? So... We should probably just stick to a phone call. For now, anyway.
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Date: 2022-11-13 03:49 am (UTC)Nance. ( just, a casual drop to slow down the uncertain rambling, which is a blatant neon sign that Nancy is nervous. call him a smug prick, but he's always found it delightfully thrilling when he manages to rankle Nancy Wheeler. rambling, or astonished silence, no I'm not paired with a smile that gave her away, every single time. ) If this is you calling to tell me you broke up with Jonathan, I don't really want to keep it to a phone call. Do you?
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Date: 2022-11-13 05:18 am (UTC)[ ugh. it turns out that it's actually really annoying that steve's gotten so much better at reading her, because how dare he be able to call her out like this, by literally JUST saying her name??? rude. it's rude. ]
Yes, it is. And no, I really don't. But I guess I thought- I don't know what I thought. But of course I don't want to keep it to a phone call! [ huff!!! followed by a whiny noise that rivals dustin henderson's whine when he doesn't get his way. ] But I stink, there is absolutely no way I don't stink right now, and I should have waited until after I took a shower to call you, but I didn't because I was too impatient. And it turns out that finally getting to talk to you, just to have to hang up to go shower after only about five minutes, is actually worse. [ but it's obvious that she's gotten up off the couch during this babble, because there's the heavy thump of her favorite knitted blanket being balled up and tossed onto the couch, and the crinkle of leftover halloween candy wrappers getting quickly picked up and crunched in her palm. ] You should meet me here! [ as if on cue, her eyes land on the half-eaten tin of cookies on the couch ] No! I take it back. I'll meet you at yours. Yeah?
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Date: 2022-11-27 04:39 am (UTC)can't. he really can't. he just wants to see her! right? not a big loaded deal or anything, that Nancy distinctly doesn't have a boyfriend anymore. it's been awhile and he wants to see her. it's fine. it's totally fine. they've grown, they're older and wiser and battle hardened, they can handle being platonic friends just as well when both of them are single! definitely. they're gonna be absolutely fine.
what isn't fine is the idea of just sitting here, for however long it takes Nancy to arrive. ) No, no no. ( not gonna work. he's going to go out of his mind before she gets here. ) I'll come get you. We'll drive somewhere, maybe. ( maybe the steering wheel and gear shift between them can keep them from being ridiculous about this! great thinking. the where is irrelevant, as long as Nancy shotgun next to him and the electric idea of being with her without Jonathan an unspoken ghost between them. no longer taking up too much of the oxygen. ) Twenty minutes? Fine. Half an hour.
( it's like he heard the feverish rebuttal ramble in his head before Nancy could even start it. )
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Date: 2022-11-29 05:56 am (UTC)[ look maybe she should have insisted that no, she'll meet him at his place! but going for a drive actually does sound kinda perfect. going for a drive with steve specifically, yes. but!! ]
Ste-!
[ oop, yep, he got her there, for sure. twenty minutes???? PLEASE. but the extra ten makes it almost fathomable. more than twenty, at least. and like, no, she will not be arrested if she's not totally ready exactly when he gets there to pick her up, but she doesn't want to make him wait either!! ]
Okay, okay! Thirty minutes, but don't you dare get here sooner than that. Got it? Or... maybe you could wait thirty minutes and then get in the car? Please? [ surely he'll have sympathy for the fact that she can't just shower and run out the door all willy-nilly, not while she's trying to grow out her perm! that would be a nightmare. a long, frizzy, curly, fried-hair nightmare!! ] No, thirty minutes is fine. I can do that. But I have to hang up like, right now to make that happen, so. [ she huffs a breath, the smiley kind ] I'll see you soon, okay? Thirty minutes. ..Bye.
[ she manages to wait until he gets a chance to say "bye" to her too before hanging up, at least? but then she's almost running through the house, and up the stairs, for the fastest shower of her life. HALF AN HOUR. the nerve. but she'll make it happen, of course she will, because holy shit, she can't wait to see him. literally, just- so excited to see him. the same way she was always excited to see him before homeroom, or between classes, or in the parking lot after school, or- okayokayokay, yes, all the cheesy things. it just feels good, everything about this right now feels good, especially after the complete fuck fest of the whole past week, so. she thinks she's earned some time focusing on the cheesy things. ]
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Date: 2022-12-18 05:48 am (UTC)I'm setting a stop watch. ( Steve warns, in lieu of goodbye. okay, so not a lot of grace. some concession is a small win when part of him is tempted to go over right the hell now, storm inside to find Nancy in whatever state of being she happens to be in. still in a bathrobe with her hair in a towel be damned. there's probably talking or something they have to do, yup, mmhmm. maybe when he sees her he'll catch some sense and his automatic gut instinct of kiss girl now will have faded a little.
it's just he's been really wanting to. for... well, to be fair, it has been quite a bit longer than just their platonic rekindled friendship. it's just that it has been especially bad, lately, and now he can and he doesn't have to feel bad for an asshole off in California, he can just. do it. amazing. astounding! yes, there's more to it than that. a lot more.
just seems like a reasonable place to start, is all.
Steve keeps his word, waits exactly thirty minutes before he drives over. was the key already in the ignition? maybe. it's the thought that counts. and Nancy is in overtime, still beyond the impenetrable fortress of her front door when he parks. he's a little too on edge to just sit in the driver's seat and wait so he gets out and leans on the passenger side. maybe he'll do some gentlemanly bullshit. open her door and all that. if Nancy ever shows, that is. Karen Wheeler has peeked at him through the kitchen curtains and not come outside to check in, so her awareness of her driveway is already higher than Steve would like it to be. he hasn't smoked a stress cigarette in nearly a year, Steve made a point of quitting when Robin made exaggerated faces any time he tried to smoke in the car.
he could really use one right now, though. Steve frowns, and checks his watch, because christ it has to have been at least an hour! forty three minutes rounds to an hour, so in a manner of speaking, he's not wrong. )
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Date: 2022-12-18 06:38 am (UTC)her front door swings open at the 46 minute mark, and the strap of her crossbody bag isn't, in fact, across her body, but instead swings freely as she clutches her purse in her hand instead because who has time to put her bag on properly? not nancy. her hair hasn't even dried all the way, but it's bundled up in a messy ponytail on top of her head anyway, so it doesn't matter all that much. she's not wearing makeup either, but her body spray is flowery, and her breath is cinnaminty, and this is the best she has to offer with a 46 minute time limit. she doesn't think he'll mind very much.
god, her front lawn is literally 10 miles long, who knew? she started with a casually brisk pace as she stepped through the front door and pulled it shut behind her, but once she's about two thirds of the way to to where he's standing there next to his car, she hops into something a little quicker. all too eager, bright smiles, eyes crinkled at the corners, breath catching, a bit.
and oh, shit, she definitely wants to kiss him. she wants to kiss him and then just keep kissing him through the next 10 to 15 business days. she wants to tackle him. she- whoa, she's feeling way too much, all at once. shit, shit, shit. and "i need to kiss him" becomes "i need the most steve harrington hug that steve harrington has ever hugged". she's still smiling by the time she's close enough to lift her arms and telegraph that she's coming in for a hug first without it being totally weird, because she needs it, she really does. and her eyes might be a little glassy, sure, but who has time too focus on that?
despite all the mental prep and "i'm coming in for the hug!!" body language she made sure to send his way, she still manages to sort of crash into him with more, ah, impact than she really meant to. oops. but it's okay. it's so okay. he's sturdy. he's got her. her voice is muffled because she hasn't pulled away, and fully intends on keeping her face buried against his chest for a while longer, yup ]
Hi. M'sorry I'm late. [ her arms squeeze!!!! around his middle!! so tight!!! and then a noticeable amount of tension sinks out of her body as she relaxes again. while still hugging him with gusto ] I really missed you.
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Date: 2022-12-27 04:35 am (UTC)it doesn't work quite like that, actually, though almost at the same time. distracts him at least long enough that Nancy is through the door and picking a determined path across the grass. part of him wants to meet her in the middle, which is ridiculous really. it hasn't been that long and he feels like they're in the middle of a dramatic reunion after months or even years apart. longing and hoping and wishing, and that's just ridiculous, jesus. it's barely been a week!
he battles with the idea so long that he doesn't actually have time to catch up. because Nancy is moving faster as he straightens and if he was leaning forward into a step in her direction, it is about all he manages before they collide. Steve didn't quite realize he was holding his breath until impact knocks the rest of it out of him. Nancy can hit like a tiny linebacker, when the occasion calls for it. usually, it's a scared thing. the ground beneath them shaking, and bats just chewed off his sides. someone or something reminded her of a shadow she couldn't, or wouldn't, talk about, and the only thing that seemed to reassure her at all was holding onto him like the last piece of safety in the storm. it's nice that this time, it isn't a scared thing. is it? doesn't really matter, the response is the same. winding her up as close and impossibly tight as he can, like she's afloat and he's the anchor and if he holds her close enough she'll know he won't let go. )
Hi, ( Steve laughs, leaning into the vice of Nancy's grip, face tucked in the still damp texture of her hair. he was really gonna get on her case about the late thing, he was, but now that she's here he completely forgot. what a sucker, honestly. Nancy relaxes a second too late because he uses the arms around her and his high ground advantage to lean back and take her with him, in the way that he used to by her locker that'd earn a STEEEEVE! as she batted at his sides and arms, but when he released her she'd always be pink and smiling that trying-not-to-smile smile, tucking her hair behind her ears. he doesn't leave her weightless long, he never does — and when she's back on the ground his hands shift around, anchor at her shoulders and then her neck and then her face. because he can't quite let go yet but he wants to look at her. have his cake and eat it too. look her in those impossible blue eyes, the smile lines that only sneak out when she's happy. )
I missed you too. ( in ways they don't have to dissect, actually. so much longer than just this week — and now he doesn't have to feel bad about it, missing a girl that had moved on and was with someone else. he doesn't really know what the next thing for them is, just that it is a relief to be able to admit it, out loud. how much he misses Nancy when she's not around. in more than a just friends sort of way. after all, this isn't how a platonic friend should really look at or hold another platonic friend. and it's wildly thrilling that he can flip the rules of being a platonic friend the bird because he was never that good at it anyway. )
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Date: 2022-12-28 09:42 pm (UTC)for now she's too busy tipping her chin up and scrunching her whole face at him as soon as both of her feet plant on solid ground again, in the worst attempt at a glare she's ever given him. but she doesn't get to the part when she halfheartedly shoves his chest and pouts at him over it - how dare he? - because it turns out that the way steve's hands frame her face still makes her brain instantly turn to marshmallow fluff. so all that dramatic face-scrunching smooths out, leaving behind an expression that probably looks downright dreamy.
he tells her he missed her too, and it shouldn't make her smile turn bashful considering she said it first, but it still does. she huffs a breath through her nose, but she can't pull her usual hair-tuck-and-hide-for-a-second shenanigans when he's holding her face, so she tucks her face to nose at the heel of his hand instead. and then presses a soft kiss there, before she can think better of it. ... not that kissing his palm is like, this huge deal or anything, but she hasn't kissed steve harrington in a very long time, so maybe it is a little bit of a huge deal. just a little.
she lifts a hand to curl around his wrist, fingertips sliding up to press against the back of his hand, not wanting him to move again just yet. when she turns her face to look up at him again, she presses her cheek there instead. and it's not exactly the smartest move, letting herself literally lean into the affection he's giving her, because now she can't stop thinking about kissing him, but it's fine. now that the worst of her breakup is in the rearview mirror, it's almost as if they have al thee time in the world, to figure out how to move forward. how they want to do this. whatever this is. she knows what she wants it to be, but they haven't talked about it yet. plus, she's practically an adult! and very mature for her age! she can handle this type of closeness without letting her hormones fuck it all u-
oh, she's kissing him. she's up on her toes as tall as she can reach, and it only lasts a few seconds, but it's soft and it's sweet and it's exactly what she needed after the horrendously shitty week she just had. and exactly what she's wanted for, ohh, months now. way too long. longer than she should have been wanting it. oops? ]
Sorry. [ she doesn't sound sorry, considering she sort of whispers it again his lips, and she doesn't look sorry either, once she's flat on her feet again, looking up at him with a cheeky grin. ] Couldn't help it.
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Date: 2023-01-08 07:03 am (UTC)it helped (well, help is a strong word) that everything compounded to the point that sleep started to get spotty. and if he was up anyway, why not a run? or a swim? or hit a few weights. the point is, he's curved back around. Nancy's mom had noted he'd really grown up, which was a little embarrassing to hear from Karen Wheeler in that tone of voice, but maybe he has if defying gravity to hold Nancy a little closer is easier than it's ever been.
Steve can't hold onto her forever. it's tempting, because when she's weightless they feel just the tiniest bit closer, somehow. maybe because there's so much trust in letting him hold her like that, or because Nancy tends to cling to him when she realizes what is going to happen and it feels good, having her wound around him like a vine. but, no, putting her down is a good call because he missed her face at least as much as the rest of her. maybe more, since friendly touch was sort of a strange electric obstacle that they never really figured out, and looking Nancy in the eye was a safe (and yet not that safe) place in the throes of platonic sexual tension.
and her expression is so wide and so big and so open, it's hard to imagine looking anywhere else. Steve didn't have much time to consider what this means, for them. what he should expect. if he should expect anything! both of them have been through it and losing a relationship... sucks. being diplomatic about the situation, it sucks. losing that connection to someone. Nancy might need time, and he should really give it to her. maybe he's hoping, maybe he's feeling like there's a chance here. but they don't have to rush it! just seeing her is enough, really, and he can navigate whatever until this is a little less raw. he can! he's been her platonic friend this long, how much harder can it be with an added, no boyfriend wrinkle?
much harder, turns out. because when she tilts into his palm, looks up at him with the soft little smile, tiny pressure points of her fingertips on his skin so familiar and yet foreign all at once, it's just. a lot. it's not like he stopped wanting and wishing, after that stupid crawling backwards talk. in fact he's probably wanted and wished more, back in Nancy's life. being around her is sort of impossible, because in a lot of ways she's changed but in the most important ways, she hasn't. she's still the girl who cares, who fights, who is so headstrong it drives him goddamn nuts, yet he admires at the same time. his thumb runs the apple of her cheek and it is unbelievably overwhelming, how much he wants to kiss her. how is he going to just be her platonic friend now? fuck.
luckily, he doesn't have to worry about it long. Nancy can see the tells he's going to lift her from a mile away, and actually Steve remembers the tells of kiss incoming too. how her grip on him, wherever, will tighten just a little. how she slots her feet between his, like that's some sort of optimal positioning to go on tiptoe so she can reach. it'd just be practical to put a hand behind his neck or in his hair to drag him down a little, it's just Nancy is too stubborn for such things. no, she's gonna get there on her own power. and it's perfect and fleeting and delightful deja vu all at once, because she can't sustain kisses like that, not unless she starts leaning and Nancy is always weirdly against that unless he winds her up and limits her options. )
Yeah, me too, ( Steve says, but before she can get it in her head that he means being kissed at all, he tilts back down to fix the issue. the kiss wasn't the problem, it was that it stopped too damn early that deserves an apology. and yeah there's talk they've got to talk, and making sense of next steps that is ultimately inevitable. just... can't they have this, a little longer? he's been missing kissing Nancy for a lot longer than the week and he can now, it just seems impossible not to reacquaint himself with the feel of her mouth and the way it smiles against the press of his. )
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Date: 2023-01-15 05:35 am (UTC)the next time she ends up interrupting their kiss with a smile, it evolves into a sort of bubbly laugh that she had no say in, so she presses her lips against his harder, like that might stop it, but no such luck. gravity beats her hormones and puts her back flat on her feet again, but it's fine. she's taking the opportunity to wind her arms tight around his middle, her forehead tipping to rest right in the middle of his chest, giving her a place to hide until she convinces those butterflies to chill the fuck out and stop making her giggle like she did the minute she was alone after the first time he kissed her. she's pretty sure it's not cute anymore!!
she huffs a breath before tipping her chin up again, which means she's sort of talking to his chin from this close, but that's okay. it's a great chin. ]
We should drive somewhere. [ a beat ] Do you think 2am breakfast will taste the same at 2pm? Or would that be too weird at this point? [ she grins, her head tipping to the side even though she hasn't leaned back yet. ] Do you think that diner even exists once the sun comes up?
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Date: 2023-01-29 08:27 pm (UTC)Steve has dreamed of getting to kiss Nancy Wheeler again. a little too much to be healthy or practical, probably. but here it is. and it's even better than he could have hoped for, somehow. her titter of a laugh is about how his heartbeat feels. light and unsure and delighted and disbelieving. can heartbeats be disbelieving? well, consider this the first time, then.
it can't last forever. they can't get lost in a storm of kisses, this is a very public avenue and Mrs. Jensen is just across the street working in her flowerbed. Steve is lucky Nancy is the one that comes to her senses first, because he's not sure he ever would. she pulls back, winds arms around him, face tucked in the fabric of his shirt. she's talking, mumbling, something something pancakes — Steve is delayed in comprehending any of it, arm settling over her shoulders and face ducking down into her hair, momentarily overwhelmed. it almost feels unreal, that this could be happening. maybe he should scout out for the freaky psychic that ambles around looking like somebody skinned the grinch. but Vecna likes to make you see ugly things, doesn't he? and this isn't ugly. it's a rare shot of sunshine, a moment of unbridled promise. a second chance, maybe. so as unreal as it might feel, it sure seems like this is actually happening. )
No, definitely different. Better or worse, can't decide. ( it'll either be better for being close to a normal human being, rested and all that — or worse, because strung out 2am insomnia brain isn't firing on all cylinders and isn't to hard to impress. Steve huffs a laugh, at the idea an entire truckstop disappears into the ether when it isn't the midnight hour. ) We better find out. For science. You know?
( so, yes. a drive. somewhere. anywhere. at this point, doesn't really matter where, as long as it is with Nancy. )