( since he's spent so long thinking about it, please being a magic word somehow shifted into humming Do You Believe in Magic. humming, or just, straight up singing it. to himself. the fact he only knows some of the lyrics have not proven a proper deterrent.
Steve is, in fact, where he promised. propped up on the door staring sternly at his ceiling, like he's not sure how it got there. at least it isn't moving, so, this is the highest he's ever been. so much for thinking he could handle just a taste of a nameless white powder. LSD, probably. lucky for Eddie, Steve tends to be fun and floaty on a trip, usually. easier to babysit that way. he startled into more of a sitting position on the rap on his window, squinting as the rap seems to echo all over. well... that's cool! he does obligingly open the door with his foot, it just turns out he can't do it with his sneaker on. it takes a few tries. )
Pretty boy. ( Steve says, charmed, if the dumb smile is any indication. he looks seriously over Eddie before deciding, )You're the pretty boy. ( in fact, the entire outside seems a brighter green and blue than his eyes can properly comprehend right now. so he just squints at it, dopey but delighted. )
[ There is an obvious sigh of relief as soon as Steve makes his presence known. For a moment there, Eddie thought he was going to have to start a search party, and that would not have ended well if he wasn't the one to find Steve.
Especially considering Steve is very much still high on the incredibly illegal substance that Eddie was so stupid to accidentally leave behind in Steve's car. At least he seems to be in good spirits, and has been relatively safe stuck in the car and still in his driveway. He really wants to know what the thought process was behind dropping acid right before having to go to work, but obvious Steve had no idea that's what he did.
And Eddie's entire train of thought immediately derails the moment he hears Steve call him pretty boy. ]
Uh. Right. I'm just going to. [ He blinks in confusion a few times before finally deciding to slide in next to Steve, nudging his friend over. It'll be easier to babysit him this way, he tells himself. Even if he could probably do it just fine from outside the car or from the passenger's side up front. But he does remember the first acid trip he had, and while Steve is handling it fine now, well, it'll help to be in arm's reach just in case. ]
How're you doing? You need to lie back down? [ Of course he pictures Steve laying down with his feet in Eddie's lap, not stopping to think about the possibility that he could lay his head in Eddie's lap instead. ]
( look. sometimes a guy gets curious! it isn't as if Steve hasn't been high before. so maybe he was wondering what this trip would be like. can't be that worse than weed, right? wrong. he is feeling the proof of that, though not in a bad way. he feels great right now. Eddie is here, and they're in the BMW (which Steve loves), everything is coming up roses for ol' Steve. has he completely forgotten about his shift in an hour (forty minutes and counting, now)? no, not entirely. it's just hard to focus on it right now, is all.
Eddie crowds into the back with him unexpectedly, earning a befuddled, ) Hey, hey! ( because that was unexpected. why are they both in the back? kinda squished now, considering Steve is taking up most of the seat. he stares at Eddie through a serious squint. ) You're gonna... you got really long legs or something? ( how on earth is Eddie gonna drive from back here? not that Steve minds having the guy next to him. this is nice! man, Eddie is nice. great guy!
does he need to lay back down? thought provoking question. Eddie can literally watch the wheels in Steve's head spin as he thinks about it. actually maybe his head is just straight spinning. laying down doesn't sound half bad. so he obligingly does so, though of course Eddie doesn't get the easy route of legs in his lap. head it is, even if it requires some shuffling to accommodate. Steve makes no effort to make it less uncomfortable for Eddie, either, laying flat on his back so he can look up at Eddie's face. )
I'm grrrrrrreat. Like the tiger. ( it's a great impression, truthfully, though Steve laughs at his own joke immediately after. and, since using Eddie as a pillow leaves him so close, Steve can't help himself, reaching to touch his nose. ) Boop! Great nose. I like it. Cute nose.
[ This isn't exactly where Eddie saw himself spending his day, but in all honesty? He can't say that he has any reason to complain. It's definitely far better than locking himself away in his trailer, trying his hardest not to spiral out of control while his thoughts wander to all of the fucked up shit that he had endured.
No, Steve is just a wonderful distraction, even if he feels a stab of guilt about the whole having to miss work thing. Which he knows is really Harrington's fault in the first place for thinking he should mess with the drugs in the first place, but still. He's just fucking relieved he didn't take enough to overdose on.
All of that guilt washes away immediately as Steve lays down, and Eddie finds his breath hitching as he is now face to face with Steve's head right where it most definitely should not be. Yes, clearly he hasn't thought any of this through, but, uh, Steve's safe at least? ]
You're ridiculous. [ But Eddie's got a smile on his face and Eddie has no idea where to put his hands right now because he has a lap full of Steve and if it were anyone else he would probably be brushing a hand through their hair, right? But this is Steve and Steve is most definitely not that kind of person, and.
Damn, he really should have brought some weed with him. ]
We're just gonna lay here for a while, okay? You tell me if anything changes. [ He doubts anything will go wrong, especially if it hasn't this whole time leading up to Eddie's arrival, if he were going to have a reaction it would have been right away. But still, Eddie wants to make sure Steve has a safe first trip. The last thing he needs is for Steve to associate him with a bad experience and Eddie -
well, Eddie doesn't think he'd be able to survive that. ]
( don't tell Steve he has to miss work. he would be devastated. his work wife is waiting for him, Eddie!!! Robin is not gonna let him hear the end of this, either. testing mystery drugs an hour before a shift, smart thinking, dingus! and that's without mentioning he used Eddie Munson as a pillow and talked at length about how cute his nose is.
as it is, the fact he has work in ONE HOUR (probably more like 40 minutes, now) is the farthest thing from his mind. something about Eddie being here, it's just very distracting. hard to remember why they're in his car in the first place. Steve has never had his head in somebody's lap before. it's comfy though. Eddie smells a bit like cigarettes and something sweet, cereal maybe? whatever. it's nice, is the point. )
Oooooooookay, ( Steve agrees, agreeably. sounds kinda boring, but, whatever. for now he's game. and he's still staring at Eddie's nose, and it's still just as cute as it was the last time he booped it. all of the guy is kinda cute, huh? the way he's looking down at him, and that smile especially. the boop had worked so well for Steve before, even got a laugh. so he tries again, and misses, two fingers dragging accidentally at Eddie's lower lip, down his chin, before his touch finally slides free.
well, he's not looking at Eddie's nose anymore, if that makes the guy feel any better. Steve stares at his mouth instead, brows tucked down, in stern thought about something. and before Eddie even has a chance to hope he won't ask, of course he does. ) You ever thought about kissing a guy before? ( Steve's voice is less floaty, now, a little hushed. like it's a thought that needs to be handled delicately, somehow. )
[ this is by far one of the most ridiculous experiences Eddie has ever had to endure, and it's certainly the most memorable. not necessarily the worst way to kill time, and if he were being honest with himself, he would admit that he actually does like spending time with Steve. a lot, in fact.
just maybe not under these circumstances? but something about beggars not being able to be choosers.
and just as his brain was starting to make sense of this whole encounter, it decides to short circuit right around the time that Steve's fingers brush against his lip, causing a slight gasp from Eddie. with the rate Steve is already going, he might not survive this even without the whole bad experience hypothesis he had been formulating earlier.
he swallows slowly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to gauge what's going on Steve's head, because clearly he is misreading this whole thing, right? there's no way Steve did that on purpose and -- oh. You ever thought about kissing a guy before? Steve's voice echoes in Eddie's ears, the question reverberating through the forefront of his mind. ]
Y-yeah. [ he winces at the sound of his own voice, all breathless and almost whiny. ] All the time, in fact. [ alright, maybe it's not the brightest idea to more or less come out to someone who is high, especially when that someone is someone you actually really fucking like, but in Eddie's defense, he's definitely not thinking straight at all. ]
( Eddie deserves better than babysitting a drugged up jock. at the very least, the stakes are a lot lower than when Dustin had to do it. and Steve doesn't have a partner in crime to run off with, so, it's at least easier to keep track of him. in fact, Steve seems entirely content, even with his long legs a bit cramped to accommodate two boy sized bodies in his back seat. he's only got a handful of trips to reflect on — russian truth serum, and your average grass. just a joint here or there! not a big deal. and even still, this has to be one of the best trips he's ever been on. Steve feels great. he's got a friend, he's kind of getting cuddles, this is awesome.
it does feel like the tone has shifted, a little, bringing up a conversation that is a little more serious. not that it's ... bad? apparently, coming on or off of a trip is the best time to discuss sexuality with a friend. ) That's cool, ( Steve says, soft but serious all at once. ) No worries. It's cool. You're still the same guy to me.
( it feels important to insist, because Robin had been petrified to tell him. even a little mind muddled, Steve doesn't want Eddie to think that he'll treat him any different. honestly, if it makes Eddie feel any better, ) Me too, sometimes. And more lately. A lot more, since I met you.
( that might feel slightly more revealing than it does if he weren't so pleasantly tweaked out right now. as it is, it is just the truth! he does think about kissing guys a lot more after he met Eddie. in Steve's defense it is pretty hard not to think about kissing a guy that makes a point of leaning too close and direct, intense eye contact as he calls you big boy. even worse when he's so... so... pretty isn't the right word. but definitely not hard on the eyes! the big brown bambi thing is pretty cute on Eddie, actually. and the rings, and tattoos, that's pretty hot, right? right. )
[ this is about the best possible outcome that Eddie can think of. he never really agreed to join Steve while he rode out the rest of his high under the pretense of coming out to him, but it didn't really seem like something he wanted to lie about.
and maybe a part of him felt like Steve probably wouldn't remember after all of this is over and done with, but Steve isn't freaking out about it (and when it came down to it, he doesn't think he would have been able to live with himself if he knew that Steve had a problem with it, but then didn't remember any more after he came back down again) and, oh. is that what he thinks it is? or maybe it's not quite there, maybe Steve hasn't quite figured himself out, but it feels like enough. ]
You think about kissing me?
[ he lets that thought settle in, and if anything Eddie is even more breathless because yes he's thought about kissing Steve (who hasn't, really? at least among those who are attracted to guys) but all this time he assumed there was no chance that thought, that feeling would be at all reciprocated. ]
Because, I feel like I should point out that I've thought about kissing you. A lot.
( slightly tripping, Steve is mildly astonished that Eddie somehow knows that he's thought about kissing him, in particular. as if he's a goddamn mind reader, and didn't just connect the dots that wondering about kissing everyone after meeting someone in particular sort of implies that's the guy you've been wondering about. his astonishment is broadcast obviously on his face. Eddie is either smart, slightly psychic, or the best guesser in the world. any way around it, Steve is impressed. )
Yeah. I do, ( Steve admits, which feels slightly precarious, and at the same time somehow Eddie knew already, so why not just say it? it's the truth. it's not the first time he's ever wondered about what it'd be like, though Eddie has given him more reason than any of his other fleeting crushes on other guys. leaning close, the flirty tone, goddamn big boy... it was easy to wonder what it'd be like, if Eddie really meant it.
Steve hadn't really stopped to consider that he might. sober he was too good at constructing reasons why it wasn't actually like that. it's hard to argue with plan english. Eddie thinks about kissing him? it's almost more than his addled mind can properly digest. )
I want to. Kiss you. You should ask me. After I sleep... sleep this off. I forgot 80% of Back to the Future. ( to Steve, that sudden jump to movie discussion makes complete sense. when he was high on Russian Truth Serum, he saw at least a good part of the Michael J. Fox feature. by the time he puked it all up and finally got some rest, he mostly just remembered that somebody's mom was horny, which was missing a lot of plot details. the point is, he's afraid he'll forget, forget to ask, forget this happened, forget that he doesn't have to make excuses and construct ornate reasons why Eddie would never be into him like that, actually.
and he doesn't want to forget. part of why he doesn't make bold suggestions they should kiss right now; he's not risking forgetting that, too. if he's gonna kiss Eddie, Steve wants to remember every last part of the experience. acid doesn't get to run off with some of it. )
[ on the one hand, this is the best fucking thing to possibly happen to Eddie. he feels bad, because clearly the drugs loosened Steve's tongue, and when he sobers up he might regret that he said anything. might realize he wasn't exactly ready to bare his soul to Eddie.
but on the other hand, maybe it's a good thing? maybe Steve needs that little bit of a nudge, that reassurance that Eddie does feel the same way, that he does want to kiss Steve, that he can have this, if he wants it.
since he can't go back to the past like in back to the future (and how anyone can forget that movie, Eddie has no idea) he'll have to settle for reassuring the sober Steve that his world isn't going to crumble just because Eddie knows his secret. ]
Sleep might not be a bad idea, you know. If you can manage it.
[ and Eddie encourages this by brushing a stray strand of hair out of Steve's face. the way he looks, still kind of strung out, is just begging for him to lull him to sleep somehow. and maybe this is making things worse, because he doesn't really remember the last time he was on acid, but he hopes that it's reassuring enough that it'll calm Steve down somehow.
he brushes a finger along the bridge of Steve's nose which ends in a boop of his own and an amused, yet fond expression on his face. not knowing where he should put his hand, what with Steve's head still in his lap, he resorts to brushing it through Steve's hair for now. ]
( it won't be quite so grim or complicated, not really. Steve has come a long way from the guy he'd been in junior year. shoving Jonathan Byers around and calling him a queer, using the very idea as an insult. he's already dealt with finding another guy attractive, had time to digest what that meant. and he's had a year or more with a lesbian bestie, which has been great for wrapping his mind around the concept of his own less-than-straight inclinations.
mostly his obstacle is having any idea how to hit on a guy. all his experience is with girls! he knows how to flirt with girls, and how to know a girl is interested. he is flying wildly out of his depth with boys, which explains... well, how a guy he is into can lean a little too close and call him big boy (not to mention all those lingering looks when his shirt was off), and Steve unfortunately hadn't a clue.
in that respect, this is great. a wake up call, that Eddie has (somehow) been too subtle. be very direct with a skittish midwestern bi jock, Eddie, it's the only way. Steve finds himself mildly petrified by the idea of not remembering this — the way Eddie is looking at him, the idea that he's not on his own thinking and wanting things that felt impossible, an hour ago. though, the look of concern is erased about as soon as it starts, with the idle touch of Eddie's fingers. it's strangely relaxing. )
I like that. With my hair. Right now, or when we're kissing. ( just, you know. FYI, Eddie!! take that one to the bank, he's happy to share his makeout cheat codes pleasantly tweaked on a little E.
Steve opens his mouth to protest he's not at all tired, he wants to stay up forever, just like this. he can't forget if he never falls asleep again. in his head that makes sense. only the lazy touch down his nose... not only is Eddie a mindreader, he's some kinda hypnotist, how'd he do that? ) Okay, ( Steve says, whether it's to the lullaby or just accepting the idea of sleep incredibly suddenly, hard to say. Steve shifts onto his side, it feels like it'll be easier to sleep that way. and with his cheek pressed to Eddie's lap, he has ample opportunity to finger a distressed rip in his jeans. ) Is it gonna be metal?
( the lullaby. obviously. well, to tweaked Steve, it is obvious. )
[ it's still weird to Eddie sometimes, that the strangest events could bring someone like Steve towards him. he remembers his first attempt at senior year, how Steve still walked the halls like he owned the place. and all the rumors about him being such a hit at parties, and yet now here Steve is, letting Eddie play with his air in the back of his BMW.
with the promise of more on the way, once Steve has sobered up, and once Eddie has reminded him of all of this. as if Eddie could ever forget, as if he would want to forget, or want Steve to forget. ]
When we're kissing. I like the sound of that. [ it sounds like a promise. one that Eddie will be more than happy to collect on. and if he's given a little bit of guidance on how to drive Steve nuts in the process? well, he's always been a rebel, so playing by the rules is just too boring.
he fully expects Steve to protest, or to plead with him not to sing. what he absolutely doesn't expect is for Steve to ask whether his lullaby of choice would be metal. that earns a loud, booming laugh, followed by a sharp intake of breath when he realizes where Steve's face is, and the delicate touch of Steve's finger against the skin peeking through his ripped jeans. ]
Actually I thought I'd try one that my mom used to sing. If that's okay?
Me too, ( Steve murmurs, only between his mouth being pressed to Eddie's thigh and his high dwindling into a sudden onset of exhaustion, it's more like mmmmmphtooomph. hopefully that still made sense to Eddie. chances are good it didn't, and Eddie will just assume Steve regresses to some kind of caveman form when he's coming off of something. honestly, that's not entirely untrue, anyway. giddy flying, mumbly and tired falling. the point is, he likes the sound of it, too. he's frankly a little frustrated that they can't be doing it right now. is Eddie sure he doesn't wanna make out a little bit right now? despite the fact Steve is suddenly tired, he's pretty sure he could stay up a little longer for the right circumstances. who had the bright idea of waiting, anyway?
it is for the best Eddie is messing with his hair, huffing a laugh at his nonsense. otherwise he probably would have changed his mind and suggested they make out, just a little, since it sounds good to both of them. tweaked Steve is entirely too easy to fold, sober Steve will be glad they waited. he wants Eddie to like kissing him, after all, and he's on a weird enough high he isn't sure how skilled his kisses would be.
something his mom used to sing. Steve sighs, awkwardly hugging Eddie's legs like he's a human teddybear. in a random, fleeting, flit of a thought, Steve misses his mom. she's fine, just... never around. chasing his father around the country on business, showing up randomly on long weekends. and even when she's there, she's not really there. she's never seemed to know what to do when he's upset. Steve sort of learned she was happiest when she didn't have to try to comfort him, and has made an effort not to ruin the rare times she's around with stressing her out ever since. he learned that when he was just in grade school, honestly. it seems messed up to miss your mom, when there isn't really a reason you should have to. but the thought flits away as fast as any other thought he's having, right about now. he's used to missing his mom. ) Okay, ( Steve agrees, and nope he has not stopped idly messing with the patch of exposed skin under Eddie's ripped jeans. )
[ there is something altogether endearing about the state Steve is in. it's so much different than what Eddie is used to, and while he knows this will wear off, a part of him wants to ease Steve into being comfortable with reaching a state like this more often.
then again, after what Steve has been through, maybe he shouldn't play with fire. he can only hope that once Steve sobers up he doesn't grow to regret what happened, and end up resenting Eddie for inadvertently supplying him with the substance that brought him to this state of mind. and yet, a tiny piece of him is weirdly grateful for this occurrence. he would have easily gone on assuming that whatever his relationship to Steve had been up until this point, it would have no hope of changing into something more.
which, that's going to be a whole can of worms to unpack when Steve sobers up. but first things first.
with fingers continuing to card through Steve's hair, and Eddie wearing a fond expression as he watches the way Steve clings to him -- at least to his legs -- he starts to sing. his voice is usually more used to a more guttural sound, but there is an ounce of sweetness to it. and as he sings, Eddie tries not to think too much about his mom, and how he misses her. how he wishes his dad hadn't been such an unforgiveable asshole that he drove her off and left Eddie scrambling to stay afloat, until one day he was left on his uncle's doorstep with Robert Munson deciding he wanted nothing more to do with his son. instead he thinks of new beginnings, and looks to the future.
a future which, up until recently, he never really believed would be looking up for him.
when he finishes the lullaby, he looks down at the reclined form of Steve, unable to bite back the wide grin at how peaceful he looks. maybe he'll be sober when he wakes. maybe they can unpack all that just happened, and all the thoughts swarming through Eddie's head. but for now, he's content to just sit back and wait. ] Sweet dreams, Harrington.
( it can be difficult. getting back into the swing of something close to normal. being a little less guarded, a little less aware of every shadow and dark corner. to be fair, right before his shift as a result of poking around in unlabeled narcotics was probably not the way to do it. still, even the team mom has to have down time eventually. usually, that down time is with Robin. someone else he can reach out to, trust with his guard lowered a little — it's nice. and new. a bit terrifying. usually, anyway. less so, with his mind delightfully muddled at the moment.
Eddie tries not to think, and Steve couldn't really think right now if he tried. his thoughts all seem to swim through his brain just a little too fast for him to make sense of them. he doesn't think so much as feels, which turns out just about as well. he feels warm, strangely lucid and muddled all at once. he feels comfortable, he feels safe, and he feels glad that Eddie is here. he could be alone, Steve is more or less used to handling the aftermath of all sorts of things alone.
but he's not alone. Eddie is here — and while his voice seems strangely far away, it's reassuring. comforting. Steve is pretty sure he's never heard the guy sing, until now. he wonders when he'll get a chance, after this. this can't be the first and last time, is about the last thought he has. before he's out like a light faster than he at all intended to be.
Robin is definitely gonna kill him for this. hopefully the I told Eddie Munson I wanted to kiss him in a drugged stupor panic attack he has in her direction will soften the blow. it'll be a lot to blearily unpack when he wakes up, that's for sure, but that is a problem for future Steve. present and slightly tweaked out Steve has no problem falling asleep to the sound of Eddie's voice and the pleasant warmth of his body and his company. )
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no subject
Date: 2022-07-27 09:56 pm (UTC)Steve is, in fact, where he promised. propped up on the door staring sternly at his ceiling, like he's not sure how it got there. at least it isn't moving, so, this is the highest he's ever been. so much for thinking he could handle just a taste of a nameless white powder. LSD, probably. lucky for Eddie, Steve tends to be fun and floaty on a trip, usually. easier to babysit that way. he startled into more of a sitting position on the rap on his window, squinting as the rap seems to echo all over. well... that's cool! he does obligingly open the door with his foot, it just turns out he can't do it with his sneaker on. it takes a few tries. )
Pretty boy. ( Steve says, charmed, if the dumb smile is any indication. he looks seriously over Eddie before deciding, ) You're the pretty boy. ( in fact, the entire outside seems a brighter green and blue than his eyes can properly comprehend right now. so he just squints at it, dopey but delighted. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-30 04:01 am (UTC)Especially considering Steve is very much still high on the incredibly illegal substance that Eddie was so stupid to accidentally leave behind in Steve's car. At least he seems to be in good spirits, and has been relatively safe stuck in the car and still in his driveway. He really wants to know what the thought process was behind dropping acid right before having to go to work, but obvious Steve had no idea that's what he did.
And Eddie's entire train of thought immediately derails the moment he hears Steve call him pretty boy. ]
Uh. Right. I'm just going to. [ He blinks in confusion a few times before finally deciding to slide in next to Steve, nudging his friend over. It'll be easier to babysit him this way, he tells himself. Even if he could probably do it just fine from outside the car or from the passenger's side up front. But he does remember the first acid trip he had, and while Steve is handling it fine now, well, it'll help to be in arm's reach just in case. ]
How're you doing? You need to lie back down? [ Of course he pictures Steve laying down with his feet in Eddie's lap, not stopping to think about the possibility that he could lay his head in Eddie's lap instead. ]
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Date: 2022-07-30 06:23 am (UTC)Eddie crowds into the back with him unexpectedly, earning a befuddled, ) Hey, hey! ( because that was unexpected. why are they both in the back? kinda squished now, considering Steve is taking up most of the seat. he stares at Eddie through a serious squint. ) You're gonna... you got really long legs or something? ( how on earth is Eddie gonna drive from back here? not that Steve minds having the guy next to him. this is nice! man, Eddie is nice. great guy!
does he need to lay back down? thought provoking question. Eddie can literally watch the wheels in Steve's head spin as he thinks about it. actually maybe his head is just straight spinning. laying down doesn't sound half bad. so he obligingly does so, though of course Eddie doesn't get the easy route of legs in his lap. head it is, even if it requires some shuffling to accommodate. Steve makes no effort to make it less uncomfortable for Eddie, either, laying flat on his back so he can look up at Eddie's face. )
I'm grrrrrrreat. Like the tiger. ( it's a great impression, truthfully, though Steve laughs at his own joke immediately after. and, since using Eddie as a pillow leaves him so close, Steve can't help himself, reaching to touch his nose. ) Boop! Great nose. I like it. Cute nose.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 12:15 am (UTC)No, Steve is just a wonderful distraction, even if he feels a stab of guilt about the whole having to miss work thing. Which he knows is really Harrington's fault in the first place for thinking he should mess with the drugs in the first place, but still. He's just fucking relieved he didn't take enough to overdose on.
All of that guilt washes away immediately as Steve lays down, and Eddie finds his breath hitching as he is now face to face with Steve's head right where it most definitely should not be. Yes, clearly he hasn't thought any of this through, but, uh, Steve's safe at least? ]
You're ridiculous. [ But Eddie's got a smile on his face and Eddie has no idea where to put his hands right now because he has a lap full of Steve and if it were anyone else he would probably be brushing a hand through their hair, right? But this is Steve and Steve is most definitely not that kind of person, and.
Damn, he really should have brought some weed with him. ]
We're just gonna lay here for a while, okay? You tell me if anything changes. [ He doubts anything will go wrong, especially if it hasn't this whole time leading up to Eddie's arrival, if he were going to have a reaction it would have been right away. But still, Eddie wants to make sure Steve has a safe first trip. The last thing he needs is for Steve to associate him with a bad experience and Eddie -
well, Eddie doesn't think he'd be able to survive that. ]
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Date: 2022-08-04 10:51 pm (UTC)as it is, the fact he has work in ONE HOUR (probably more like 40 minutes, now) is the farthest thing from his mind. something about Eddie being here, it's just very distracting. hard to remember why they're in his car in the first place. Steve has never had his head in somebody's lap before. it's comfy though. Eddie smells a bit like cigarettes and something sweet, cereal maybe? whatever. it's nice, is the point. )
Oooooooookay, ( Steve agrees, agreeably. sounds kinda boring, but, whatever. for now he's game. and he's still staring at Eddie's nose, and it's still just as cute as it was the last time he booped it. all of the guy is kinda cute, huh? the way he's looking down at him, and that smile especially. the boop had worked so well for Steve before, even got a laugh. so he tries again, and misses, two fingers dragging accidentally at Eddie's lower lip, down his chin, before his touch finally slides free.
well, he's not looking at Eddie's nose anymore, if that makes the guy feel any better. Steve stares at his mouth instead, brows tucked down, in stern thought about something. and before Eddie even has a chance to hope he won't ask, of course he does. ) You ever thought about kissing a guy before? ( Steve's voice is less floaty, now, a little hushed. like it's a thought that needs to be handled delicately, somehow. )
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 02:57 am (UTC)just maybe not under these circumstances? but something about beggars not being able to be choosers.
and just as his brain was starting to make sense of this whole encounter, it decides to short circuit right around the time that Steve's fingers brush against his lip, causing a slight gasp from Eddie. with the rate Steve is already going, he might not survive this even without the whole bad experience hypothesis he had been formulating earlier.
he swallows slowly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to gauge what's going on Steve's head, because clearly he is misreading this whole thing, right? there's no way Steve did that on purpose and -- oh. You ever thought about kissing a guy before? Steve's voice echoes in Eddie's ears, the question reverberating through the forefront of his mind. ]
Y-yeah. [ he winces at the sound of his own voice, all breathless and almost whiny. ] All the time, in fact. [ alright, maybe it's not the brightest idea to more or less come out to someone who is high, especially when that someone is someone you actually really fucking like, but in Eddie's defense, he's definitely not thinking straight at all. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-08-16 11:27 pm (UTC)it does feel like the tone has shifted, a little, bringing up a conversation that is a little more serious. not that it's ... bad? apparently, coming on or off of a trip is the best time to discuss sexuality with a friend. ) That's cool, ( Steve says, soft but serious all at once. ) No worries. It's cool. You're still the same guy to me.
( it feels important to insist, because Robin had been petrified to tell him. even a little mind muddled, Steve doesn't want Eddie to think that he'll treat him any different. honestly, if it makes Eddie feel any better, ) Me too, sometimes. And more lately. A lot more, since I met you.
( that might feel slightly more revealing than it does if he weren't so pleasantly tweaked out right now. as it is, it is just the truth! he does think about kissing guys a lot more after he met Eddie. in Steve's defense it is pretty hard not to think about kissing a guy that makes a point of leaning too close and direct, intense eye contact as he calls you big boy. even worse when he's so... so... pretty isn't the right word. but definitely not hard on the eyes! the big brown bambi thing is pretty cute on Eddie, actually. and the rings, and tattoos, that's pretty hot, right? right. )
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Date: 2022-08-21 02:55 am (UTC)and maybe a part of him felt like Steve probably wouldn't remember after all of this is over and done with, but Steve isn't freaking out about it (and when it came down to it, he doesn't think he would have been able to live with himself if he knew that Steve had a problem with it, but then didn't remember any more after he came back down again) and, oh. is that what he thinks it is? or maybe it's not quite there, maybe Steve hasn't quite figured himself out, but it feels like enough. ]
You think about kissing me?
[ he lets that thought settle in, and if anything Eddie is even more breathless because yes he's thought about kissing Steve (who hasn't, really? at least among those who are attracted to guys) but all this time he assumed there was no chance that thought, that feeling would be at all reciprocated. ]
Because, I feel like I should point out that I've thought about kissing you. A lot.
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Date: 2022-09-05 07:15 pm (UTC)Yeah. I do, ( Steve admits, which feels slightly precarious, and at the same time somehow Eddie knew already, so why not just say it? it's the truth. it's not the first time he's ever wondered about what it'd be like, though Eddie has given him more reason than any of his other fleeting crushes on other guys. leaning close, the flirty tone, goddamn big boy... it was easy to wonder what it'd be like, if Eddie really meant it.
Steve hadn't really stopped to consider that he might. sober he was too good at constructing reasons why it wasn't actually like that. it's hard to argue with plan english. Eddie thinks about kissing him? it's almost more than his addled mind can properly digest. )
I want to. Kiss you. You should ask me. After I sleep... sleep this off. I forgot 80% of Back to the Future. ( to Steve, that sudden jump to movie discussion makes complete sense. when he was high on Russian Truth Serum, he saw at least a good part of the Michael J. Fox feature. by the time he puked it all up and finally got some rest, he mostly just remembered that somebody's mom was horny, which was missing a lot of plot details. the point is, he's afraid he'll forget, forget to ask, forget this happened, forget that he doesn't have to make excuses and construct ornate reasons why Eddie would never be into him like that, actually.
and he doesn't want to forget. part of why he doesn't make bold suggestions they should kiss right now; he's not risking forgetting that, too. if he's gonna kiss Eddie, Steve wants to remember every last part of the experience. acid doesn't get to run off with some of it. )
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Date: 2022-09-08 03:56 am (UTC)but on the other hand, maybe it's a good thing? maybe Steve needs that little bit of a nudge, that reassurance that Eddie does feel the same way, that he does want to kiss Steve, that he can have this, if he wants it.
since he can't go back to the past like in back to the future (and how anyone can forget that movie, Eddie has no idea) he'll have to settle for reassuring the sober Steve that his world isn't going to crumble just because Eddie knows his secret. ]
Sleep might not be a bad idea, you know. If you can manage it.
[ and Eddie encourages this by brushing a stray strand of hair out of Steve's face. the way he looks, still kind of strung out, is just begging for him to lull him to sleep somehow. and maybe this is making things worse, because he doesn't really remember the last time he was on acid, but he hopes that it's reassuring enough that it'll calm Steve down somehow.
he brushes a finger along the bridge of Steve's nose which ends in a boop of his own and an amused, yet fond expression on his face. not knowing where he should put his hand, what with Steve's head still in his lap, he resorts to brushing it through Steve's hair for now. ]
I could sing you a lullaby, if you wanted.
tw: 80s homophobia, thank god the boy has come a long way
Date: 2022-09-19 03:20 am (UTC)mostly his obstacle is having any idea how to hit on a guy. all his experience is with girls! he knows how to flirt with girls, and how to know a girl is interested. he is flying wildly out of his depth with boys, which explains... well, how a guy he is into can lean a little too close and call him big boy (not to mention all those lingering looks when his shirt was off), and Steve unfortunately hadn't a clue.
in that respect, this is great. a wake up call, that Eddie has (somehow) been too subtle. be very direct with a skittish midwestern bi jock, Eddie, it's the only way. Steve finds himself mildly petrified by the idea of not remembering this — the way Eddie is looking at him, the idea that he's not on his own thinking and wanting things that felt impossible, an hour ago. though, the look of concern is erased about as soon as it starts, with the idle touch of Eddie's fingers. it's strangely relaxing. )
I like that. With my hair. Right now, or when we're kissing. ( just, you know. FYI, Eddie!! take that one to the bank, he's happy to share his makeout cheat codes pleasantly tweaked on a little E.
Steve opens his mouth to protest he's not at all tired, he wants to stay up forever, just like this. he can't forget if he never falls asleep again. in his head that makes sense. only the lazy touch down his nose... not only is Eddie a mindreader, he's some kinda hypnotist, how'd he do that? ) Okay, ( Steve says, whether it's to the lullaby or just accepting the idea of sleep incredibly suddenly, hard to say. Steve shifts onto his side, it feels like it'll be easier to sleep that way. and with his cheek pressed to Eddie's lap, he has ample opportunity to finger a distressed rip in his jeans. ) Is it gonna be metal?
( the lullaby. obviously. well, to tweaked Steve, it is obvious. )
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Date: 2022-09-20 12:25 am (UTC)with the promise of more on the way, once Steve has sobered up, and once Eddie has reminded him of all of this. as if Eddie could ever forget, as if he would want to forget, or want Steve to forget. ]
When we're kissing. I like the sound of that. [ it sounds like a promise. one that Eddie will be more than happy to collect on. and if he's given a little bit of guidance on how to drive Steve nuts in the process? well, he's always been a rebel, so playing by the rules is just too boring.
he fully expects Steve to protest, or to plead with him not to sing. what he absolutely doesn't expect is for Steve to ask whether his lullaby of choice would be metal. that earns a loud, booming laugh, followed by a sharp intake of breath when he realizes where Steve's face is, and the delicate touch of Steve's finger against the skin peeking through his ripped jeans. ]
Actually I thought I'd try one that my mom used to sing. If that's okay?
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Date: 2022-10-09 07:44 pm (UTC)it is for the best Eddie is messing with his hair, huffing a laugh at his nonsense. otherwise he probably would have changed his mind and suggested they make out, just a little, since it sounds good to both of them. tweaked Steve is entirely too easy to fold, sober Steve will be glad they waited. he wants Eddie to like kissing him, after all, and he's on a weird enough high he isn't sure how skilled his kisses would be.
something his mom used to sing. Steve sighs, awkwardly hugging Eddie's legs like he's a human teddybear. in a random, fleeting, flit of a thought, Steve misses his mom. she's fine, just... never around. chasing his father around the country on business, showing up randomly on long weekends. and even when she's there, she's not really there. she's never seemed to know what to do when he's upset. Steve sort of learned she was happiest when she didn't have to try to comfort him, and has made an effort not to ruin the rare times she's around with stressing her out ever since. he learned that when he was just in grade school, honestly. it seems messed up to miss your mom, when there isn't really a reason you should have to. but the thought flits away as fast as any other thought he's having, right about now. he's used to missing his mom. ) Okay, ( Steve agrees, and nope he has not stopped idly messing with the patch of exposed skin under Eddie's ripped jeans. )
i'm sorry this took so long the month had been...something
Date: 2022-11-01 02:15 pm (UTC)then again, after what Steve has been through, maybe he shouldn't play with fire. he can only hope that once Steve sobers up he doesn't grow to regret what happened, and end up resenting Eddie for inadvertently supplying him with the substance that brought him to this state of mind. and yet, a tiny piece of him is weirdly grateful for this occurrence. he would have easily gone on assuming that whatever his relationship to Steve had been up until this point, it would have no hope of changing into something more.
which, that's going to be a whole can of worms to unpack when Steve sobers up. but first things first.
with fingers continuing to card through Steve's hair, and Eddie wearing a fond expression as he watches the way Steve clings to him -- at least to his legs -- he starts to sing. his voice is usually more used to a more guttural sound, but there is an ounce of sweetness to it. and as he sings, Eddie tries not to think too much about his mom, and how he misses her. how he wishes his dad hadn't been such an unforgiveable asshole that he drove her off and left Eddie scrambling to stay afloat, until one day he was left on his uncle's doorstep with Robert Munson deciding he wanted nothing more to do with his son. instead he thinks of new beginnings, and looks to the future.
a future which, up until recently, he never really believed would be looking up for him.
when he finishes the lullaby, he looks down at the reclined form of Steve, unable to bite back the wide grin at how peaceful he looks. maybe he'll be sober when he wakes. maybe they can unpack all that just happened, and all the thoughts swarming through Eddie's head. but for now, he's content to just sit back and wait. ] Sweet dreams, Harrington.
🎀 here!! what dum boys... sob
Date: 2022-11-25 04:51 am (UTC)Eddie tries not to think, and Steve couldn't really think right now if he tried. his thoughts all seem to swim through his brain just a little too fast for him to make sense of them. he doesn't think so much as feels, which turns out just about as well. he feels warm, strangely lucid and muddled all at once. he feels comfortable, he feels safe, and he feels glad that Eddie is here. he could be alone, Steve is more or less used to handling the aftermath of all sorts of things alone.
but he's not alone. Eddie is here — and while his voice seems strangely far away, it's reassuring. comforting. Steve is pretty sure he's never heard the guy sing, until now. he wonders when he'll get a chance, after this. this can't be the first and last time, is about the last thought he has. before he's out like a light faster than he at all intended to be.
Robin is definitely gonna kill him for this. hopefully the I told Eddie Munson I wanted to kiss him in a drugged stupor panic attack he has in her direction will soften the blow. it'll be a lot to blearily unpack when he wakes up, that's for sure, but that is a problem for future Steve. present and slightly tweaked out Steve has no problem falling asleep to the sound of Eddie's voice and the pleasant warmth of his body and his company. )