Yeah. Don't remember the last time I slept for more than two hours a night.
[ he keeps seeing her face every time he closes his eyes. sometimes it's caved in, and when he's not dreaming of cracked bones, sometimes he'll see steve caught up in a trance or torn apart by bats.
how can anyone sleep when those are the images burned into his brain? ]
( Steve hasn't slept well for years, but still, even not sleeping well for him is better than two hours a night. so it is just worry about Eddie Munson hours, apparently, that is just not enough sleep. )
I get it. After that thing crawled out of Byer's ceiling, I don't think I slept more than an hour a night before the light of the pool or a creak in the house made me bolt awake, and then I was just awake for good.
It was easier after the whole... russian mall attack, thing. Robin I bunked up sometimes, made it easier. At least a little.
You know, one of these days you've gotta give me a full rundown of what fucking happened because, shit. If I hadn't lived it myself, all of this would sound incredibly made up.
Maybe I just need to find someone who tolerates me enough to let me bunk up with them then.
[ He knows he has a place amongst this party, of course he does. Still, he can't help but feel like he's intruding sometimes, especially with how much more experience these guys clearly have with this shit. ]
( which is a depressing thought, the sort of thought Steve avoids thinking or he can't sleep, either. so, moving on! )
Yeah? ( dumbass, he LITERALLY just said it!! god, this is embarrassing. how did anyone think he was cool. ) My parents haven't been here since Christmas, so... you know. If you want. Yeah.
Maybe it's better not to question it and just to accept it and move on.
[ Because that's how Eddie has been trying to handle it, even if he's handling it poorly. ]
Wait, shit, seriously? They didn't even...well, fuck, yes I'll come over then, you shouldn't be in that empty house all alone.
[ At least Eddie's got Wayne around when he's not in work. But if Steve doesn't really have anyone? Then yeah, Eddie's at least going to stay over for one night, just enough to avoid overstaying his welcome. ]
( wow they have the same brain. why be traumatized when you could just not ever think about it?? outstanding move, let's see how that works out for them )
My mom was going to, after the... you know. "Earthquake". But I told her I was fine, so.
( so she didn't! that makes perfect sense, right? )
It isn't that big, Munson. ( Steve isn't sure when this became about him needing someone instead of Eddie, but whatever. maybe it is easier to accept the offer that way. ) Whenever you want. But you gotta at least try sleeping, man, and not crazy cocktail sleep either.
[ Eddie understands complicated relationships with parents. it must be worse not having any closure the way Steve does, but he isn't sure if he should even pry. Eddie doesn't exactly like talking about his parents, so he can imagine Steve might not want to talk about them, either. ]
You've seen my trailer, yeah? Compared to that, it's big.[ and yeah, maybe down the line he'll examine why he's so insistent with Steve considering he might not have extended the same concern to Robin. well, okay, as it turns out Robin is pretty cool, too, and he senses some solidarity there, so maybe bad example. ]
Okay, okay fine. We'll get some actual sleep that's not induced by an inadvisable amount of drugs.
She's not good with stress. Why make her worry about stuff when she doesn't have to?
( it isn't like he could explain things to her, anyway. Steve loves his mother — ridiculous and flighty and detached attachment style as she may be. but she wouldn't get it. it is safer for her to be gone, trying to keep his shitheel dad from sleeping around. if she's happy that way, let her be happy. )
Wait, this was a drug cocktail? ( Steve was already Concerned about self medicating with alcohol. this seems worse. ) Shit, Eddie. You can't do that stuff on your own. What if... something bad could have happened, man.
Can't really blame you there, then.[ there are certain things he's withheld from Wayne for similar reasons. if he could, he probably would have sent Wayne far, far away himself. ]
Oh, uh, did I say it was drugs?[ shit, too late. ]I'm fine. It's fine. Nothing happened.[ besides, well. this. ]
I didn't say something bad happened, I said it could have happened. And bad stuff happens to us enough with this Upside Down shit happening like clockwork these days.
( Eddie surviving being bat dinner to die on a bad mix of drugs trying to sleep would ... well, Steve hates thinking about it enough that he doesn't know what it would be like, actually. )
It's not worth the risk. Okay? So don't. ( is that an uncomfortable level of mom friend demand? uh, maybe. it comes from a good place, but, it's a lot. ) If crashing with me doesn't help we'll figure out something else. Got it?
[ Eddie's still not really used to anyone giving a damn whether he lived or died. he's not sure what to do with Steve's level of caring, and while the temptation is to push Steve away, because he deserves better than someone as fucked up as Eddie in his life, he can't help the fact that this is the exact thing he has wanted all along. ]
( it's a bizarre how much of a relief that is. considering Steve has known Eddie how long, exactly? but yeah, for sure, after seeing the guy nearly eaten alive by bats — having something horrible happen to him now would just be goddamn awful. Dustin would be devastated.
...yes, Dustin, specifically. Dustin! )
We all give a shit about you, Munson. Not just me. ( but yeah, okay. fine! him included. ) So you coming over tonight or not?
[ there's a part of him that's relieved, that wants Steve to be happy with him, and hates the fact that he made him worry so much. but he tries not to pay much attention to that whole Steve in particular thing, because, you know.
it's bad form to develop anything resembling feelings for straight guys. ]
Still.[ he sometimes wonders if he stopped making any sort of effort, if they would just forget about him. he likes to think after twenty four hours of not responding to texts, Steve would come barreling over, ready to kick in his door if he had to, and isn't that something to think about. ]Wouldn't miss it for the world.
( there's no more tragic a tale than having feelings for a straight guy 🤧 definitely better to avoid, anyway, no reason overthink that Steve definitely would have busted the trailer door down if Eddie never answered. it is just a mom friend thing! )
Don't get too excited. I eat dinner and watch The Late Show and sometimes fall asleep on the couch. Not exactly thrilling.
I don't know what you're talking about, that sounds perfect.[ He isn't even joking, it's the exact kind of quiet evening he could use around here. There's just too much commotion at the trailer park, and when Wayne works nights it's impossible to block any of it out. ]
( ...steve could u have found a better way to say that?? the point is, he kinda likes the idea somebody thinks he's safe to talk to. be around. that's how he feels with Robin, it's nice!! )
That's cool. Good. Uh... yeah. ( so goddamn smooth really killin' it out here Harrington )
no worries! sometimes we only have the spoons for silly text threads 💖
Date: 2022-10-04 04:22 am (UTC)[ he keeps seeing her face every time he closes his eyes. sometimes it's caved in, and when he's not dreaming of cracked bones, sometimes he'll see steve caught up in a trance or torn apart by bats.
how can anyone sleep when those are the images burned into his brain? ]
❤️❤️❤️
Date: 2022-10-04 04:43 am (UTC)I get it. After that thing crawled out of Byer's ceiling, I don't think I slept more than an hour a night before the light of the pool or a creak in the house made me bolt awake, and then I was just awake for good.
It was easier after the whole... russian mall attack, thing. Robin I bunked up sometimes, made it easier. At least a little.
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Date: 2022-10-05 12:09 pm (UTC)Maybe I just need to find someone who tolerates me enough to let me bunk up with them then.
[ He knows he has a place amongst this party, of course he does. Still, he can't help but feel like he's intruding sometimes, especially with how much more experience these guys clearly have with this shit. ]
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Date: 2022-10-07 02:44 am (UTC)I mean... if you want to crash here a couple nights?
( is that too weird? offer a sleepover with another guy your age? yes. it feels weird. shit. )
Not that you have to. You probably meant... not me, tolerating you. ( like some cute metal head chick, or something. obviously. )
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Date: 2022-10-07 11:29 pm (UTC)Wait, really?
[ it's probably a good thing this was via texting, because he knows his voice would have sound extra pathetic just now. ]
And what if I do want to?
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Date: 2022-10-08 02:54 am (UTC)( which is a depressing thought, the sort of thought Steve avoids thinking or he can't sleep, either. so, moving on! )
Yeah? ( dumbass, he LITERALLY just said it!! god, this is embarrassing. how did anyone think he was cool. ) My parents haven't been here since Christmas, so... you know. If you want. Yeah.
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Date: 2022-10-10 01:16 am (UTC)[ Because that's how Eddie has been trying to handle it, even if he's handling it poorly. ]
Wait, shit, seriously? They didn't even...well, fuck, yes I'll come over then, you shouldn't be in that empty house all alone.
[ At least Eddie's got Wayne around when he's not in work. But if Steve doesn't really have anyone? Then yeah, Eddie's at least going to stay over for one night, just enough to avoid overstaying his welcome. ]
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Date: 2022-10-10 01:37 am (UTC)My mom was going to, after the... you know. "Earthquake". But I told her I was fine, so.
( so she didn't! that makes perfect sense, right? )
It isn't that big, Munson. ( Steve isn't sure when this became about him needing someone instead of Eddie, but whatever. maybe it is easier to accept the offer that way. ) Whenever you want. But you gotta at least try sleeping, man, and not crazy cocktail sleep either.
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Date: 2022-10-11 12:18 am (UTC)[ Eddie understands complicated relationships with parents. it must be worse not having any closure the way Steve does, but he isn't sure if he should even pry. Eddie doesn't exactly like talking about his parents, so he can imagine Steve might not want to talk about them, either. ]
You've seen my trailer, yeah? Compared to that, it's big. [ and yeah, maybe down the line he'll examine why he's so insistent with Steve considering he might not have extended the same concern to Robin. well, okay, as it turns out Robin is pretty cool, too, and he senses some solidarity there, so maybe bad example. ]
Okay, okay fine. We'll get some actual sleep that's not induced by an inadvisable amount of drugs.
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Date: 2022-10-11 01:39 am (UTC)( it isn't like he could explain things to her, anyway. Steve loves his mother — ridiculous and flighty and detached attachment style as she may be. but she wouldn't get it. it is safer for her to be gone, trying to keep his shitheel dad from sleeping around. if she's happy that way, let her be happy. )
Wait, this was a drug cocktail? ( Steve was already Concerned about self medicating with alcohol. this seems worse. ) Shit, Eddie. You can't do that stuff on your own. What if... something bad could have happened, man.
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Date: 2022-10-11 02:33 pm (UTC)Oh, uh, did I say it was drugs? [ shit, too late. ] I'm fine. It's fine. Nothing happened. [ besides, well. this. ]
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Date: 2022-10-12 03:56 am (UTC)( Eddie surviving being bat dinner to die on a bad mix of drugs trying to sleep would ... well, Steve hates thinking about it enough that he doesn't know what it would be like, actually. )
It's not worth the risk. Okay? So don't. ( is that an uncomfortable level of mom friend demand? uh, maybe. it comes from a good place, but, it's a lot. ) If crashing with me doesn't help we'll figure out something else. Got it?
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Date: 2022-10-13 01:02 am (UTC)Okay. I won't...do that again. Promise.
And Steve? Thanks for actually giving a damn.
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Date: 2022-10-13 02:27 am (UTC)( it's a bizarre how much of a relief that is. considering Steve has known Eddie how long, exactly? but yeah, for sure, after seeing the guy nearly eaten alive by bats — having something horrible happen to him now would just be goddamn awful. Dustin would be devastated.
...yes, Dustin, specifically. Dustin! )
We all give a shit about you, Munson. Not just me. ( but yeah, okay. fine! him included. ) So you coming over tonight or not?
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Date: 2022-10-13 03:08 am (UTC)it's bad form to develop anything resembling feelings for straight guys. ]
Still. [ he sometimes wonders if he stopped making any sort of effort, if they would just forget about him. he likes to think after twenty four hours of not responding to texts, Steve would come barreling over, ready to kick in his door if he had to, and isn't that something to think about. ] Wouldn't miss it for the world.
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Date: 2022-10-13 04:31 am (UTC)Don't get too excited. I eat dinner and watch The Late Show and sometimes fall asleep on the couch. Not exactly thrilling.
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Date: 2022-10-13 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-14 01:37 am (UTC)( hey, steve, what the fuck does that mean. )
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Date: 2022-10-14 08:27 pm (UTC)[ It's why Wayne made sure he listened to more than just metal music all day, every day. ]
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Date: 2022-11-03 03:17 am (UTC)( he'll let this one slide THIS TIME, Munson! )
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Date: 2022-11-11 09:11 pm (UTC)It's stupid.
[ He thinks about just leaving it at that, maybe Steve won't ask, but in a moment of weakness, he tacks on: ]
It's 'cos I feel safe talking to you.
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Date: 2022-11-11 10:19 pm (UTC)( ...steve could u have found a better way to say that?? the point is, he kinda likes the idea somebody thinks he's safe to talk to. be around. that's how he feels with Robin, it's nice!! )
That's cool. Good. Uh... yeah. ( so goddamn smooth really killin' it out here Harrington )
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Date: 2022-11-14 09:55 pm (UTC)[ he should probably stop there, but because he's apparently a masochist, he keeps going with this. ]
My hero, out here ripping demobats in half.
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Date: 2022-11-21 12:52 am (UTC)Pretty sure you were my hero in that situation, smart guy.
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Date: 2022-11-30 11:53 pm (UTC)I think it all evens out when we consider how you dragged my ass back topside from the Plane of Shadow.
[ leave it to eddie to break out the d&d references. might as well, seeing as how they went with vecna for the big bad's name. ]
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