Morning, Stevie. [ eddie let’s his eyes slip closed as steve settles, can’t help but feel a little more at ease with the weight of him on his chest. steve has more bulk on him, sure, but he’s not actually so much heavier that eddie can’t find comfort in the way he blankets his frame. plus, in the shadow of the storm and the rain still pitter-pattering against the window it’s the best sort of warm comfort.
he traces the edges a scar that flares up to steve’s ribs, not sure if this one is more sensitive or numb to touch. he splays his palm over this skin, knows he has one that matches and might be a bit deeper in a few spots. it’s strange how grounding it is, knowing someone else has gone through this with him and having this fucked up physical proof when he’s sure he’s lost his mind and made it all up.
eddie is lost in thought for a moment as steve settles, snuggles close and let’s eddie drift off into a fantasy where this is fine and what they both want in all circumstances. he feels himself melt into the bed, relaxing further as he slides a hand into Steve’s hair.
this is fine, he can have this. until steve tenses and pulls back and eddie isn’t sure. ] I wasn’t planning on it. It’s kind of early.
Unless… Are you trying to kick me out of my own bed, Harrington? [ he means for it to come out teasing, coupled with an upward quirk to his lips but neither quite land either. still, he notices the cautiousness in Steve’s voice. maybe it’s the nightmare still, lingering. ] Are you okay?
( is it kind of early? Steve hasn't even checked the time. not to point fingers here, but in his room, his alarm clock is positioned across the room, so you can see it from either side of the bed. it's great. except for the part where he has to get out of bed to turn it off, but, that's intentional too. forces him to wake up, even if he doesn't want to. even if Eddie demurs like a dying king about him dragging out of bed. Eddie always thinks it is early, so maybe Steve shouldn't trust the guy that it is still lounge around in bed hours.
but he wants to believe, in this particular instance.
Steve doesn't blush. it isn't his thing. if anyone asked, he'd persist that he doesn't. still, he does feel slightly embarrassed at the accusation he's trying to kick Eddie out of his own bed. right... right. this is Eddie's bed. not his bed, where they usually wake up. that feels more like their bed than it should, these days. clearly defined lines that have gotten way too blurry. my bed is going to be running in Steve's mind all day, now. unintended jumpscare. )
No, ( Steve says, and really!!! it's true!!! he's not. he doesn't want Eddie to get out of bed, his or otherwise. if the blatant snuggling hadn't made that obvious enough. he isn't trying to kick Eddie out, at all, he just doesn't want to tangle him up and trap him here if he wants to go. Steve rubs an eye, because he's pretty sure that's how it works. to wake up, you rub the sleep out of your eyes, and then your brain works better. you don't say stupid things or cross lines you shouldn't when you're fully awake. )
I just heard you talking, is all. ( Steve struggles to hit the rewind button on his thoughts, go back to what Eddie was talking about. he was talking, wasn't he? Eddie should thank his lucky stars that Steve gives up about as soon as he starts, instead deciding to focus on something else. namely, insisting Eddie should stay in bed. even though the guy just said he wasn't planning on going anywhere. ) It's raining. Nowhere to go, anyway. We might as well stay here.
( yeah, it's just practical, to stay tangled up with his roommate. obviously! )
[ honestly, anything before noon is early in Eddie’s book but it is actually barely past eight based on his wrist watch and it’s a miracle that he’s awake. a testament to steve’s influence in his life, really. eddie hasn’t seen this hour outside of the school year in years and waking up to say goodbye to steve when he has an opening shift or is taking dustin to school now means he’s up willingly earlier than this some weekdays. that’s devotion in his book!!! ]
You heard me talking? [ and if Eddie sounds particularly squirrels about that, well, who can blame him. he bites into his lower lip, worries it for a moment before he decides to bite the bullet. ] What'd you hear?
[ it’s better to ask, to pry as if he’s just being nosy instead of assuming. at least given what he’d actually said, an admission he’d thought was spoken to a man asleep and lost to the world. he had hoped for that, honestly, for his own sake. eddie ducks his head down, cheeks flushed before he cranes his neck and presses a cheek into the pillow he’s resting on. there’s no way he can hide. ] Staying here sounds like a better plan. Other bed is cold anyway. [ he’d go burrow there if steve had been planing to kick him out. luckily, that’s not the case. ]
( what did he hear? something about seeing. and every morning. you can tell how hard Steve is thinking about it, because of the knit of his brow. the rain? was Eddie really into rainy mornings? no, that's dumb. it wasn't about the rain. see you, first thing. every morning, as long...
Steve is distracted, unfortunately, by Eddie pressing his face into the pillow and muffled talk about abandoning for the other bed. which is, for starters, ridiculous. trading beds for no reason when they're already comfortable in this one. if anyone would get out of bed, it would have to be Steve, since Eddie rightly pointed out this isn't his bed. ) Would you knock it off? I'm not kicking you out.
( in fact, it is a rare opportunity that he can actually steal a little more time in bed. Eddie often whines that he should stay a little longer, maybe once or twice he's been a little too convincing and Steve has had to rush out of the house with messy hair and an uncooked poptart for breakfast. one occasion he managed to leave the apartment, ferry Dustin to his desired location, and still make it back before Eddie was out of bed, and sneaking back into it had felt strangely right. and Steve wasn't much of a lounge around in bed sort of guy. he could always find something to do, because sleep was more of a have to than want to. )
I don't want you to go, ( Steve admits, finally. and that's not crossing bro lines, is it? he's already said, out loud, that he likes Eddie's company. it doesn't have to be weird, it's just the objective truth. Steve likes having Eddie around. so much, in fact, that his subconscious has taken to torturing him with the idea of losing him. Steve sighs, sticking his face in Eddie's threadbare shirt. thoughts drifting back to the nightmare that brought him to Eddie's room in the first place. yes, he knows that Eddie is fine, now. doesn't mean the comfort of being close to him isn't still welcome, even in the light of day. nightmares mostly left behind them. )
[ is he grateful steve doesn’t say anything? yes. is he curious enough to prod and tickle his side, also yes. maybe it’s not the right approach here, but he doesn’t want to have steve follow that line of questioning even if he is distracted enough on his own. plus, eddie is a touchy guy and he has an excuse in that.
still, he’s placated by simple words and a huff against his chest. it settles him and has him resting his palms on steve’s mid-back and against his shoulder blade. ] Okay, fine. We’re staying here and staying in bed. Snoozing. Relaxing. Listening to the rain and maybe we’ll get up and make some waffles later but… after a little snooze.
[ and he sounds fond, happy even, with a soft chuckle that follow the words. eddie feels himself flush as he tucks his chin down to look at steve again from the corner of his eyes. ] Well, good then. I don’t want to go.
[ and maybe that’s too raw and honest than it should be, arms tightening around steve as if to stop him from bolting as he says it. that’s what eddie fears most, steve running away. he cranes his nexk up, glances around the room and maybe that graze is his lips against Steve’s forehead seems natural. maybe. ]
( Eddie would prod at his side, just for the sake of being a brat. it mostly just results in Steve wriggling away from the poke and firmer into Eddie's side. if Eddie is afraid Steve is going to make for the hills, hopefully the insistent way he winds arms around him is proof enough he doesn't want either of them to go anywhere. Steve usually feels like he's expecting or needing or asking too much, to be this openly appreciative of affection. maybe there's something about the waking up together after a nightmare, though. he's not ready to pull apart and knit himself together and pretend he doesn't need this right now.
so if Eddie will indulge him just a bit longer, Steve isn't going anywhere. Eddie might be looking at him, but Steve is staring at the rain pattering against their (Eddie's, shit. their comes way too easy to him, these days) window, and then at the inside of his eyelids. last time he passed out it was half because the heavy wave of panic had entirely exhausted him. this time it's because he's comfortable and content, and wants to pad out that feeling just a little longer. )
Waffles, ( Steve says, distant but amused, in the voice of someone trying to sound more alert than they are. it's the rain putting him hack to sleep, surely. he doesn't protest the kiss to his forehead anymore than he's protested a kiss — well, anywhere else, actually. outside of the island of the bed they're sharing, it might make him get in his head. right now, it is beyond Steve to second guess anything besides not wanting this moment to be over just yet. )
Or pancakes. World's our oyster, Stevie. [ eddie drops his head back to the pillow, closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy the closeness of this moment. steve's wound around him, arms around him and legs intertwined with his own. it's a comfortable feeling even in a bed that's not normally the one they share.
eddie knows he'd like waking up anywhere, pretty much, if he could have steve there with him. if he could be as sure as he is now that, at least for the moment, steve's not running away; that no one's going to play this off as a thing that doesn't mean anything at all.
that's a scary thought, one too overwhelming for the early morning where sleep's tugging steve back under and eddie could follow so easily. he probably will, if he can get his mind to slow down just a bit more.
eddie turns his face into the pillow, forces a yawn and then it's followed up by a louder real one. ] Get some sleep.
( Steve is not above getting in his head about this, later. sometimes it just feels like there's limits. on how much he can ask for. what he can take. Eddie's his roommate, his friend. one of his best friends, honestly — nobody can topple Robin off her throne but the rare days he doesn't talk to or see Eddie, his entire day feels off. and even accepting he cares that much, it's hard not to feel like at some point there's a too much, and he's going to barrel into it headfirst if he isn't careful.
asking too much and needing too much, it always kicks him in the ass. with his parents, with the assholes that weren't ever really his friends. with Nancy, somehow, even though the details of how and why are still pretty goddamn fuzzy. just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, all the way down. it's hard to course correct when you don't know what turn was the wrong one. Steve's running a little blind as it is, and it's hard not to get addicted to how it feels. to have someone to lean on. to not have to truck along and be okay and figure it out on his own. he can't want too much of this, can't rely on it too much, because what is he gonna do when it's gone?
this morning, though... it's hard to feel like stealing one lazy morning will ruin everything. not when Eddie feels so comfortable and content, too. maybe it isn't taking, so much as sharing. both of them together, instead of trying to grin and bear it and push through it on their own.
he meant to say a word, a confirmation. pancakes or waffles, sounds good. sleep a little more. instead he's barely cognizant enough to land a mumble. nuzzling closer with a content huff of a sigh. yeah, okay. sleep, pancakes, safe. he can agree to that. )
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Date: 2022-10-02 01:45 am (UTC)he traces the edges a scar that flares up to steve’s ribs, not sure if this one is more sensitive or numb to touch. he splays his palm over this skin, knows he has one that matches and might be a bit deeper in a few spots. it’s strange how grounding it is, knowing someone else has gone through this with him and having this fucked up physical proof when he’s sure he’s lost his mind and made it all up.
eddie is lost in thought for a moment as steve settles, snuggles close and let’s eddie drift off into a fantasy where this is fine and what they both want in all circumstances. he feels himself melt into the bed, relaxing further as he slides a hand into Steve’s hair.
this is fine, he can have this. until steve tenses and pulls back and eddie isn’t sure. ] I wasn’t planning on it. It’s kind of early.
Unless… Are you trying to kick me out of my own bed, Harrington? [ he means for it to come out teasing, coupled with an upward quirk to his lips but neither quite land either. still, he notices the cautiousness in Steve’s voice. maybe it’s the nightmare still, lingering. ] Are you okay?
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Date: 2022-10-02 02:14 am (UTC)but he wants to believe, in this particular instance.
Steve doesn't blush. it isn't his thing. if anyone asked, he'd persist that he doesn't. still, he does feel slightly embarrassed at the accusation he's trying to kick Eddie out of his own bed. right... right. this is Eddie's bed. not his bed, where they usually wake up. that feels more like their bed than it should, these days. clearly defined lines that have gotten way too blurry. my bed is going to be running in Steve's mind all day, now. unintended jumpscare. )
No, ( Steve says, and really!!! it's true!!! he's not. he doesn't want Eddie to get out of bed, his or otherwise. if the blatant snuggling hadn't made that obvious enough. he isn't trying to kick Eddie out, at all, he just doesn't want to tangle him up and trap him here if he wants to go. Steve rubs an eye, because he's pretty sure that's how it works. to wake up, you rub the sleep out of your eyes, and then your brain works better. you don't say stupid things or cross lines you shouldn't when you're fully awake. )
I just heard you talking, is all. ( Steve struggles to hit the rewind button on his thoughts, go back to what Eddie was talking about. he was talking, wasn't he? Eddie should thank his lucky stars that Steve gives up about as soon as he starts, instead deciding to focus on something else. namely, insisting Eddie should stay in bed. even though the guy just said he wasn't planning on going anywhere. ) It's raining. Nowhere to go, anyway. We might as well stay here.
( yeah, it's just practical, to stay tangled up with his roommate. obviously! )
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Date: 2022-10-02 02:34 am (UTC)You heard me talking? [ and if Eddie sounds particularly squirrels about that, well, who can blame him. he bites into his lower lip, worries it for a moment before he decides to bite the bullet. ] What'd you hear?
[ it’s better to ask, to pry as if he’s just being nosy instead of assuming. at least given what he’d actually said, an admission he’d thought was spoken to a man asleep and lost to the world. he had hoped for that, honestly, for his own sake. eddie ducks his head down, cheeks flushed before he cranes his neck and presses a cheek into the pillow he’s resting on. there’s no way he can hide. ] Staying here sounds like a better plan. Other bed is cold anyway. [ he’d go burrow there if steve had been planing to kick him out. luckily, that’s not the case. ]
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Date: 2022-10-02 02:56 am (UTC)Steve is distracted, unfortunately, by Eddie pressing his face into the pillow and muffled talk about abandoning for the other bed. which is, for starters, ridiculous. trading beds for no reason when they're already comfortable in this one. if anyone would get out of bed, it would have to be Steve, since Eddie rightly pointed out this isn't his bed. ) Would you knock it off? I'm not kicking you out.
( in fact, it is a rare opportunity that he can actually steal a little more time in bed. Eddie often whines that he should stay a little longer, maybe once or twice he's been a little too convincing and Steve has had to rush out of the house with messy hair and an uncooked poptart for breakfast. one occasion he managed to leave the apartment, ferry Dustin to his desired location, and still make it back before Eddie was out of bed, and sneaking back into it had felt strangely right. and Steve wasn't much of a lounge around in bed sort of guy. he could always find something to do, because sleep was more of a have to than want to. )
I don't want you to go, ( Steve admits, finally. and that's not crossing bro lines, is it? he's already said, out loud, that he likes Eddie's company. it doesn't have to be weird, it's just the objective truth. Steve likes having Eddie around. so much, in fact, that his subconscious has taken to torturing him with the idea of losing him. Steve sighs, sticking his face in Eddie's threadbare shirt. thoughts drifting back to the nightmare that brought him to Eddie's room in the first place. yes, he knows that Eddie is fine, now. doesn't mean the comfort of being close to him isn't still welcome, even in the light of day. nightmares mostly left behind them. )
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Date: 2022-10-02 03:27 am (UTC)still, he’s placated by simple words and a huff against his chest. it settles him and has him resting his palms on steve’s mid-back and against his shoulder blade. ] Okay, fine. We’re staying here and staying in bed. Snoozing. Relaxing. Listening to the rain and maybe we’ll get up and make some waffles later but… after a little snooze.
[ and he sounds fond, happy even, with a soft chuckle that follow the words. eddie feels himself flush as he tucks his chin down to look at steve again from the corner of his eyes. ] Well, good then. I don’t want to go.
[ and maybe that’s too raw and honest than it should be, arms tightening around steve as if to stop him from bolting as he says it. that’s what eddie fears most, steve running away. he cranes his nexk up, glances around the room and maybe that graze is his lips against Steve’s forehead seems natural. maybe. ]
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Date: 2022-10-10 03:32 am (UTC)so if Eddie will indulge him just a bit longer, Steve isn't going anywhere. Eddie might be looking at him, but Steve is staring at the rain pattering against their (Eddie's, shit. their comes way too easy to him, these days) window, and then at the inside of his eyelids. last time he passed out it was half because the heavy wave of panic had entirely exhausted him. this time it's because he's comfortable and content, and wants to pad out that feeling just a little longer. )
Waffles, ( Steve says, distant but amused, in the voice of someone trying to sound more alert than they are. it's the rain putting him hack to sleep, surely. he doesn't protest the kiss to his forehead anymore than he's protested a kiss — well, anywhere else, actually. outside of the island of the bed they're sharing, it might make him get in his head. right now, it is beyond Steve to second guess anything besides not wanting this moment to be over just yet. )
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Date: 2022-10-15 07:03 am (UTC)eddie knows he'd like waking up anywhere, pretty much, if he could have steve there with him. if he could be as sure as he is now that, at least for the moment, steve's not running away; that no one's going to play this off as a thing that doesn't mean anything at all.
that's a scary thought, one too overwhelming for the early morning where sleep's tugging steve back under and eddie could follow so easily. he probably will, if he can get his mind to slow down just a bit more.
eddie turns his face into the pillow, forces a yawn and then it's followed up by a louder real one. ] Get some sleep.
🎀 here mb??
Date: 2022-11-07 01:01 am (UTC)asking too much and needing too much, it always kicks him in the ass. with his parents, with the assholes that weren't ever really his friends. with Nancy, somehow, even though the details of how and why are still pretty goddamn fuzzy. just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, all the way down. it's hard to course correct when you don't know what turn was the wrong one. Steve's running a little blind as it is, and it's hard not to get addicted to how it feels. to have someone to lean on. to not have to truck along and be okay and figure it out on his own. he can't want too much of this, can't rely on it too much, because what is he gonna do when it's gone?
this morning, though... it's hard to feel like stealing one lazy morning will ruin everything. not when Eddie feels so comfortable and content, too. maybe it isn't taking, so much as sharing. both of them together, instead of trying to grin and bear it and push through it on their own.
he meant to say a word, a confirmation. pancakes or waffles, sounds good. sleep a little more. instead he's barely cognizant enough to land a mumble. nuzzling closer with a content huff of a sigh. yeah, okay. sleep, pancakes, safe. he can agree to that. )